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19 Remembering Mary Magdalen: If Mary can do it, so can I

April 9^th, 2004 Since so much that I’ve written has happened, I wondered… if Mary can read minds why can’t I? Of course I know what Steve is thinking, but we’ve been together so long. So at Border’s I was in line to get a latte and a few moments later it felt like my pants fell off! I twirled around and the man directly behind me backed away guiltily. “You better watch what you think,” I warned and he tuck-tailed it out of there! Sipping my latte, I told the universe that was too much information.

April 18^th, 2004 Steve dreamt of the compound then and in the future, slipping through the portal and enacted a scene nearly identical to one I wrote about Teoma even naming the characters, the events. Still he has yet to read anything I have written. I must quell my passion to keep from slipping more and more into the parallel universes. There is no time, all exists in the now. Often I am in both places here in Ojai and there in Galilee, so much poetic remembrance. I am blessed to be connected to sacred unity slipping in and out of bliss while I travel my path.

April 20^th, 2004 Eight moon cycles to the day, I am finished! We celebrated with dear friends who I believe were with us in the past. Since the conception of this book they’ve remodeled a home in Palm Springs like those of Qumran, sharing with us their love for the desert. I wonder why? J The synchronicities never end!

18 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Passionate Me

March 14^th, 2004 These cords of attachment run deep and long. In the ethers we release them, in our bodies we struggle with their remnant energy—the habit of being attached. We respond to the fiery emotion that cast the cords into metal chains to bind us. It is not easy being human, but it is divine. We are never alone although the work is done secretly in our heart under the watch of our mind’s eye.

March 17^th, 2004 Seeing the Passion of Christ affected me not as I expected. With Yeshua’s ethereal support, I rose into a place of compassionate observation understanding that the depiction is through the filter of fear. Jarys had a tremendous opening seeing that pain, suffering, even death is all of the One, that the two flames are One, that the One is within. He argued with Yeshua through me about returning to fix the mess his followers have created. Yeshua explained that the second coming is an awakening of a christed consciousness within each of us, spurred in part by the book.

March 20^th, 2004 On my birthday, adoration comes up in a sense of awe for who I am, for creation, for those I love. Looking into Steve’s eyes, I see his awakening. As I release him he settles and meets me. Gathering the disciples in the writing, presenting them with compassion is a blessed chore. What confuses me most is who they are in this life, but I see flavors of each in many. Perhaps it’s the mitosis again. Once there was a Judas who now lives in many, some hold the guilt of the myth, some more like the Judas I remember—a bear of a man with honey inside.

17 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Like Mary, I am a healer

March 7^th, 2004 Well, I am a sensory healer! My beautiful patients reinforce why I am here. One young woman wanted a tour of her body, asking me to show her the energies claiming that my gift is to blend the spiritual and medical. In our next home, I would like a Chamam, a place for women, not just my red skirt that signifies my time, alerting my family to treat me warily. Kyra cut her hair and gave it to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. How lovely she is with her golden brown curls! How brave to give of her essence to strangers. She is the true Divine Daughter, seeing the light in all, living in joy.

March 11^th, 2004 The time is ripe to disentangle my cords of attachment to Steve, Jarys, Kyra, Mom, and yes to Yeshua. I have surrendered the others already. Just as I did as Mary, thus I will do as Deborah and discover the I AM. Do I choose this day to face the front or the back of the mirror? The back of 3-D phenomena—that which all creatures instinctively interact or the front—the true face of G-D, of the universal image. As I clear the dust of my memory, I see more and more connections. As I view the back with an eye to the front, a greater perception occurs and I can laugh at my humanness. Again something has shifted in my interiority. Today I write the surrender of love, especially Steve and Kyra. Jarys is easier for I surrendered him to his destiny when I birthed him into college two years ago. Since then I have danced more gracefully with his loving intelligence. Undifferentiated from illumination are children, but for the fullness of the human experience, each must develop all the me’s, then awaken to a deeper illumination and gather the little me’s without judgement, allowing them to be cast into the light of the One. The collective me’s develop in this life to be unified into the I, then connect tot the universal I AM. Children refer to themselves as me, the more enlightened ones like Yeshua use “I” from early on.

16 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Uniting the Feminine and the Masculine

Feb 25^th, 2004 I can see how the beginning and the end are one and the same. How the past and the future merge into the present. How the writing of this book unites the dark and the light—the feminine and masculine. A merge is taking place as Yeshua seems within me, separating out to communicate then I breathe him back into my being.

Feb 28^th, 2004 So much transpires within my own family. Jarys argued with his religion teacher saying that the gospel interpretations are not what…he almost spouted “his brother said” He asked me what part he played then, believing as I do that we travel in soul families. After seeing The Passion, he envisioned himself as a prophet of sorts and wants me to see it. I do not know that I can. Kyra had a dream in which she described the house in Nazareth—although she has not read my work. Then she shared with the gymnastics carpool that she sees ghosts, has telepathic communication with her best friend, her grandma and me, and remembers a past life as a dark skinned girl named Sarah. Although she mentioned being Sarah when she was three, reading her history book has stirred up dreams and memories. Usually she is so cautious, but the girls received her inter-dimensional experiences with joy.

15 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Expressing Gratitude

Jan 23rd, 2004 My walking meditation revealed that I need to express my gratitude. I do for Steve, the children, this writing, my ethereal connections, my patients and family. Perhaps I do not give myself fully because I am afraid of the fullness of my power. Before I sink into despair the universe offers a gift. A patient I helped wrote to thank me for helping her, yet it was she who helped me see that depression is lack of self love and appreciation. I have compassion for the human condition for I feel very much connected to my form in this earthly density.

Feb 1^st, 2004 writing the Qumran experience is unnerving for what I have envisioned does not jive with what the scholars of the Dead Sea scrolls believe existed in the ancient Essene city. When I called my rabbi friend for advice she said to “forget 2000 years of Victorian Christendom and just be Mary!” I told her of my visions while writing the desert scene and she was surprised, claiming that what I “saw” is what kabbalists believe. How could I know what is only revealed word of mouth unless I was there? She believes in past lives. Sometimes I don’t know for it feels more like I’m living in two realities at once—the one two thousand years ago infusing remembrance of my potential into the present. The writing goes slowly for my emotive nature as Mary creates such drama; everything has sharp defined flavors—bitter sorrow, sweet joy, salty frustration.

Feb 20^th, 2003 Steve expressed concern about the book coming out. That I might not complete the work, that I’m more enchanted by the journey than the destination. And I am but that is the point of this life—the joy of the journey. Besides I have finished everything else I planned: my education, my professional leadership, my private practice, the children nearly grown, still happily married. Except the hormone book. I think he believes it would be more legitimate and thus safer. Perhaps but I have faith that this first draft will be completed this spring.

Author Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP Wins Best Spiritual Fiction Book in Reader Views 2007 Annual Literary Awards

“LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter” was selected as the best Spiritual Fiction Book of 2007 by Reader Views Annual Literary Awards. Reader Views Annual Literary Awards were established to honor writers who self-published or had their books published by a small press, university press, or independent book publisher.

“Reader Views reviews more than 2,000 books per year from budding authors who have worked hard to achieve their dream of being published,” Reader Views Managing Editor Irene Watson says. “Our Annual Literary Awards recognize the very best of these up-and-coming authors, all talented writers who we know have very promising writing careers ahead of them.”

The Reader Views Annual Literary Awards are granted in 20 fiction and 30 nonfiction categories, as well as 15 specialized, sponsored categories. The entries are judged by Reader Views reviewers, all avid readers with a wide range of experiences, considered experts in the respective fields.

About LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter is an intimate unveiling of Mary Magdalen as a woman awakening to her sacred feminine power. LoveDance reveals the grace and the beauty of the times as well as the passion and the sorrow. Mary’s awakening will touch your heart and heal your soul.

Celebrity actress Kathryn Ross described LoveDance as “a lovely and timely book… Mary’s story is a parable for all of us. It’s time to get back in balance. Amazing that even 2000 plus years ago we were swayed or coerced into certain beliefs by politics and male dominated religion. Not too different from the present.”

History was written by men. LoveDance is HERstory. LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter may be purchased at www.lovedance.com

14 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Dancing in the New Year

Jan 2^nd, 2004 Dropping Kyra off on New Years eve, I strove to meet the parents holding the teen gathering. Somehow the book came up. I have no hesitancy sharing this amazing experience with friends and family, but these were strangers. And they asked if I was Christian. And I said no but neither were Mary and Yeshua. They were Hebrew. The looks on their faces made me realize why Steve worries so. He’s preparing for crosses to be burned on the lawn when this book comes out. In spite of the controversial nature of my story, I must have faith that all will be well. This said, how hard it is to humanize Yeshua—but to me he was very much a man who felt love, anger, jealousy, joy. Yesterday during our new year’s hike, Steve was in a sweet mood, proclaiming to be able to take care of all of my needs, to never get lost, to provide me food and shelter no matter where, to lick my very wounds if need be. Although I yearn for a more ethereal connection, Steve grounds me to this 3 dimensional reality. After finishing the forgiveness piece between Mary and her mother, I felt great gratitude for how each member of my family, each person who has served to teach me lessons along the way back to the One. So this morning when I meditated on a disturbing scene, I know I cannot judge what seems like an incomplete memory. How many times have I envisioned parts of this story only to sit down to write and what flows from my hands more beautifully insightful than I imagined?

Jan 12^th, 2003 Last night we celebrated Steve’s birthday at the Greek restaurant and the belly dancer enticed me to get up and dance by offering me her zils—an ancient gesture of recognition just like when Miriam led the Yisraelites in celebratory dance at the Red Sea. It was amazing and our friends commented on how “tribal” I danced. Somehow I knew how to dance this ancient rhythm, perhaps because I had just written a scene in which Mary danced in celebration of the new moon. At the last science and consciousness conference in Albuquerque, I joined the dance of universal peace and got lost in the ancient rhythms. Afterwards many approached to thank me for my presence asking if I was a professional dancer. Surprised and flattered, I shared my experience with a friend who was a ballroom dancer. She took offense claiming I had no training. True, but at the African drumming circle at the end of the conference, I could not help but dance with the energies. So I danced the drums and the drummer seemed to drum my beat—an erotic meeting of souls through music.

13 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Family Ties

Dec 23^rd, 2003 Off to Utah for the family holidays. Anxious premonitions of my beloved Santa cup breaking. After 20 years of keeping them safe for my sisters, I tried to pack them carefully, but one tumbled out of the car, so I traded my unscathed cup for the fractured one. This trip is about breaking attachments, perhaps to things, but yet deeper, as Yeshua says, to what I believed my sisters to be. As I am coming to know myself as joyous passion I shall recognize who they are as love. So many sister dreams lately. Since childhood, I have flown in my dreams stringing them along like Peter Pan, barely able to get them off the ground. Lately in my dreams, I do not hold their hand, but try to teach them to fly on their own, but they resist. I feel tired, saddened. Will my sisters throw me out like Yeshua was thrown out of Nazareth? Strangers can be more accepting than those closest when you change too rapidly.

Dec 26^th, 2003 A snowstorm traps us in the house, playing games, memories abound. On Christmas Eve, I experienced the power of the loving-kindness prayer. The family gathered around my sister’s large kitchen island arguing about the Cody Bank’s rape charge. When the manner in which the victim dressed was blamed, I felt the urge to jump into the fray, yet stopped and silently asked that my fear be lifted and I be filled with light and love, then asked the same for each and every one of them. When I got to Kyra, she looked up and mouthed, “What are you doing?” “Blessing us” I silently replied. The tension melted. The brothers-in-law about to engage in fist a cuffs, laughed at another’s joke and all was well. This morning my youngest sister hugged me fiercely claiming she thinks about me every day. Lately I can say the same. I wish I could see beyond the possessive love in this family, the competitiveness, the criticism, the ego…especially mine—my ego is much too overwhelming. My muse is on holiday, but lots of purple around me, my aura brilliant whenever I close my eyes. Torn between gluttony and deprivation, defenseless in the face of my family without bulimia to protect me. Trapped in a house of mirrors. One: reflecting unforgiving close-mindedness, one: emotional, temperamental, quick to strike, yet a core of love, one: distant, shallow immersion, non committal, one: lost in a world of self, one: poor self esteem, critical of all, not knowing when to hold her tongue, my brothers-in-law, my nieces and nephews clueless bystanders, my husband supportive, policing my behavior. This journal my only escape…

12 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Digging up Skeletons

Dec 7^th, 2003 Steve is most delightful as I delve into a difficult part—child abuse remembered—not of this life, but so vivid…Thankfully I have family outings like Kyra’s gymnastics meets to punctuate the writing. My sister had her surgery, never taking advantage of a healing, oh well. My visit with her today was yet another layer as she expressed verbatim what I wrote one of the characters said to Mary…and knows nothing of this writing.

Dec 16^th, 2003 Such a long haul, delving into the past. My bulimia up again, although I resisted, it nearly floors me as I am exhausted by processing the energies. It is as if I am healing a universal pain. Who I am as joy has felt distant these past 12 days. Steve has been insightful, offering wisdom. Yeshua teases that he was one of his best students.

Dec 21^st, 2003 My meditation on the solstice revealed an aspect of forgiveness forgotten. I was shown how I need not forgive but give thanks for the roles played by my partners in life. Forgiveness denotes that something was done wrong, when all is as it should be. Gratitude for the divine orchestration is all that is necessary to heal. Yeshua is still with me, but rather than him feeding me insight, it comes through me more clearly now as if my courage has torn the fabric of illusion that I am separated from the divine. In this book so many issues are dealt with—depression, poor self esteem, suffering and sacrifice—all balanced by hope, joy, peace and abundance. These books are the expression of all my work as a healer, a mother, a woman, written to illustrate the concepts presented in our life stories. Alas my patients rarely remember the scientific and philosophical concepts I teach, but they do remember the stories I share.

11 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Mirrors Everywhere

I believe everyone in our lives act as mirrors reflecting back to us our soul lessons.

What we see in them is what we believe about ourselves.

Most of us do not see ourselves reflected in others.

Most of us feel as if we are the only ones.

Most of us do not recognize our own divine potential.

But it is as if the G-D has a multiple personality disorder…there is only one of us here!

Nov 18^th, 2003 As I struggle to become the fullness of who I am, I am faced with doubt in my closest mirror—Steve. He thinks I may be delusional. Yes, I hear voices as I did as a child. I communicated telepathically with those who could hear me like Nana. I heard voices of nature, the animals and plants, the wind and the sea. I work energetically with my patients. The reality is this connection, the rest is an illusion. I am remembering the union before I came, the agreements. I reminded him that when I began my spiritual journey six years ago that I was afraid he would be left behind but to my delight he has kept pace, perhaps not seeing things from my perspective but so much more than before we began. I love him dearly. He explained that he has always had to follow me that he has a great responsibility born of love, how much he loves me and the children; he thinks that when I complete this work that I will no longer be the person he remembers loving. But where would I go when in his arms I am grounded to this reality. Once when Kyra was five she described us as a helium balloon. Steve was the string and I was the balloon. Without me he would never get off the ground. Without him I would fly away!

Nov 25^th, 2003 Steve is less concerned now that he’s occupied with building a greenhouse. Kyra is demanding more attention; at 15 she needs me more than at 5. And Jarys returns from college for the holiday. So much is being revealed in this writing, so much coming up to be healed. How sensually I experience every detail like a vivid memory relived. In just two months, I have written over 300 pages and that’s with three weeks vacation and lots of breaks for emotional work and enmeshed within a family, taking care of my menagerie of animals, and seeing patients three days a week! Genesis Gold has certainly helped me stay well during this amazing energetic shift. How many patients have I seen with chronic fatigue after going through such a dramatic portal?

Dec 4^th, 2003 Steve finally seems to trust in the divine orchestration, but like doubting Thomas, he has an ancient reputation to overcome J In Mary’s story it is time to walk on water! What is that about? Visualization and faith? I have always had a tremendous amount of faith—the future holds a healing of the pain of the past. It is coming full circle. I have ethereal guides which are a unique expression of my consciousness, but I yearn for a full mind-body-soul connection.