Dec 7th, 2003 Steve is most delightful as I delve into a difficult part—child abuse remembered—not of this life, but so vivid…Thankfully I have family outings like Kyra’s gymnastics meets to punctuate the writing. My sister had her surgery, never taking advantage of a healing, oh well. My visit with her today was yet another layer as she expressed verbatim what I wrote one of the characters said to Mary…and knows nothing of this writing.
Dec 16th, 2003 Such a long haul, delving into the past. My bulimia up again, although I resisted, it nearly floors me as I am exhausted by processing the energies. It is as if I am healing a universal pain. Who I am as joy has felt distant these past 12 days. Steve has been insightful, offering wisdom. Yeshua teases that he was one of his best students.
Dec 21st, 2003 My meditation on the solstice revealed an aspect of forgiveness forgotten. I was shown how I need not forgive but give thanks for the roles played by my partners in life. Forgiveness denotes that something was done wrong, when all is as it should be. Gratitude for the divine orchestration is all that is necessary to heal. Yeshua is still with me, but rather than him feeding me insight, it comes through me more clearly now as if my courage has torn the fabric of illusion that I am separated from the divine. In this book so many issues are dealt with—depression, poor self esteem, suffering and sacrifice—all balanced by hope, joy, peace and abundance. These books are the expression of all my work as a healer, a mother, a woman, written to illustrate the concepts presented in our life stories. Alas my patients rarely remember the scientific and philosophical concepts I teach, but they do remember the stories I share.