52. GRATITUDE HEALS

Excerpt from “My Lovedance”

I’ve been going through my journals looking for clues to how I got to where I am. I have journals dating back to 1975. I’ve kept everything I have ever written in my mother’s old cedar chest. Her hope chest carries my past.

In October 2007, I was just about to launch LoveDance® into the world and was in a place of profound appreciation …

I am in deep gratitude for the blessings in my life, for:

• Steve—for his passion, protection, partnership
• Jarys—for teaching me compassion and courage
• Kyra—for embodying love and delight
• Mom—for buoying my spirit
• Dad—for seeding my existence
• Sisters—for opening to possibility
• Friends—for supporting my dreams
• Patients—for believing in me
• Colleagues—for challenging my mind
• Enemies—for challenging my heart
• Home—for sheltering my soul
• Community—for encompassing my passion
• Nation—for the freedom to expand
• Planet—for sustenance to be
• Divine Mother—for my glorious form
• Divine Father—for my expansive soul
• Divine Son—for my creative mind
• Divine Daughter—for my passionate heart

I still feel the same, thank the Divine. It’s good to count your blessings. It’s better than keeping count of your woes. Much more healing. Besides. Gratitude opens up your heart to love. A good place to start.

* * *

At the grandmother’s council, I learned about an ancient Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Whenever there is a disagreement among the people, the elders hold the offending parties in a circle of energy until each can truthfully say to the other:

I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

What a great example of how gratitude morphs into love. I believe the prayer means:

I’m sorry—I recognize my part in orchestrating such drama to learn my soul lessons.

Please forgive me—I ask forgiveness of all those in the wake of my human drama and I forgive myself.

Thank you—I am in deep gratitude for your humanity.

I love you—In loving your divine self, I am able to love my divine self.

Next time you are feeling angry and frustrated with someone else, do this meditation. Sit quietly with your hands resting in your lap. Take a deep breath and with the exhalation release everything that doesn’t serve you. Repeat the breath two more times breathing deeper and deeper until it feels as if you are breathing all the way to your fingertips where they meet at your root. Now imagine the other person as a bubble of energy. I like to imagine their life color, but you can picture their face if you wish. Then say each line of the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer out loud really trying to feel the energy of each line:

I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

Repeat as many times necessary to feel love and gratitude for the other person and for yourself.

51. SEVEN LAYERS OF SOUL LESSONS

Excerpt from “My Lovedance”

Our chakras provide a guide to our life lessons. Layers discovered as we dive deeper into our selves. I wrote this piece a few years ago and left it for my eldest to review. Being an old soul and one endowed with deep compassion, their insights are invaluable. They left a copy in the bathroom where my brother-in-law discovered it. I was surprised by what my husband’s brother, not a well read or educated man, had to say.

“Deb, I read those soul layers you wrote about. It’s true! I’m definitely dealing with my yellow layer! But at least there’s hope!”

I gave him a hug and thanked him for his insight. Truth is truth. If you’re open to receive the gift of each encounter, then you recognize what is true for you.

♥ Red Layer: represents first chakra. It’s all about survival. We struggle to make our way through tough life lessons. Most of humanity barely survives life’s lessons. Not yet searching for meaning, those of us who do make it celebrate our survival from dis-ease, loss, trauma, etc. It’s as if we fought a war and won. We honor survivors. If they can do it, then so can we.

♥ Orange Layer: represents second chakra. It’s all about gathering the sweetness of the lesson and trying to move on. We look for meaning in the lesson—what we learned. We love the “enlightened sayings” of those who appreciate the sweetness of life. It makes us feel good to share our hard-earned wisdom, to read about or watch others’ stories that seem to end happily. It gives us hope. Receiving the blessing of the lesson is where forgiveness begins.

♥ Yellow Layer: represents third chakra. It’s all about balancing will and emotion. Although this is a deeper layer, it feels less than. You thought you learned your lesson and here it is like a bad rerun rearing its ugly head. You know you should feel better about the lesson, but fear creeps in as it repeats itself again and you try to will it away, move on, not stoop to just surviving as you did in the beginning. You try to count your blessings but the sweetness has become bitter. Time to release your fear. This is the place most of us get stuck. This is what wears us out, makes our adrenals crash, our health fail, we wish to die.

♥ Green Layer: represents the fourth chakra. It’s all about compassion…for self! Here we learn to love ourselves. There is an energy of gratitude for our humanness. This is the deepest level of forgiveness when we can be grateful for the players in the drama of our lives. Those who seem most enlightened exist here. They express compassion to others for they have learned self-compassion. The beloved teachers and gurus have shown us how to be human and live in the heart. But more lessons are to come…

♥ Blue Layer: represents the fifth chakra. It’s all about truth. Your truth. Fully digesting the lesson and expressing the divine truth of the lesson in your life’s work. You have grown tremendously from the first time you faced this lesson. When it repeats itself, you are able to graciously receive it and name its truth. Being embodied on earth gifts us with soul baring opportunities to know our selves intimately. This is when the teachers are quoted and become immortalized.

♥ Indigo Layer: represents the sixth chakra. It’s all about insight. You now have deep insight into the lesson as you relive it a sixth time. Quickly you survive, receive the sweetness, release the fear, feel compassion for yourself, express the truth of the lesson and become the gnosis…. the experiential divine. You need not speak your truth to BE your truth. You exist in harmony with all life, following spirit deeply into this lesson without struggle. Yet one more time you will revisit the lesson in this life or another or perhaps beyond the human existence…one more time…

♥ Violet Layer: represents the seventh chakra. It’s all about multidimensional connection. This is where Heaven meets Earth in you. You now have the Divine perspective. You understand the purpose of your humanity. You appreciate your emotions as vehicles to higher, deeper manifestations of Love. You are truly enlightened in regards to this lesson. Finally you are free…

Time for another sacred lesson ☺

50. CHAKRAS AND MEDITATION

Excerpt from “My Lovedance”

My oldest friend is at it again. Who knew that our reconnection would be such a source of inspiration for me? The universe perhaps? Our souls? Well, she asked to borrow any books I had on chakras and meditation. She couldn’t find anything online. I said sure. I’ll look through my library and see what I’ve got. So I went through my spiritual library. I’ve kept every book that has touched my soul but alas, I found nothing. How did I learn about chakras and such if not from books?

That got me thinking. When I first heard about chakras, I think it was about the time I met my first mentor, I felt I already “knew” these points of power. They were in perfect alignment with the endocrine system—the glands that produce hormones. The words used to describe the energy of the chakras — which by the way means wheels of energy in Sanskrit — were exactly how I would describe the hormonal effects from each gland. I see the same colors from root to crown when I assess a patient. The only difference I have with the traditional Eastern interpretation of these energy centers, lies in the second chakra.

So in my interpretation of how East meets West in the endocrine system, the first chakra corresponds with the gonads. Known as the root chakra, the first chakra is red, the color of passionate creation, the fire of creation. The ovaries of a woman and the testes of a man produce the hormones necessary to “create” new life and rebirth themselves. When people enter the midlife crisis, it is truly a time of recreating their new life. Helping them with bio-identical hormone replacement therapy has been my biological therapies, while I help them understand that in order to get that clear deep red passion back in their lives, they must conceive a new passion. Usually this leads to a new life via art, hobbies, change in occupation, finally finding their soul purpose. Those patients with issues of the first chakra—prostate cancer, ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids—I find to be stuck in their creativity. While we may conceive an idea in our brains, it is through this red root chakra that we birth our creations. I “see” the first chakra as taking root into the earth where we birth our creative powers of manifestation.

The second chakra corresponds to the pancreas. Known as the belly or umbilical chakra, the second chakra is bright orange, very sweet, the fuel to the fire of creation. Like insulin escorting glucose into your cells to create energy, the second chakra is your source of creative energy, fueling or nurturing your creations. I call this the sweetness of life. I see very few people with bright orange second chakras. Most of what is diagnosed as insulin resistance is at the spiritual level a resistance to the sweetness of life. Once a patient opens to receive the sweetness of life, her blood sugar stabilizes, she no longer needs to store body fat around her middle like a buoy, her insulin resistance reverses. Not that I do not recommend supplementation to biochemically treat insulin resistance but without the energetic connection, the healing is incomplete.

The third chakra corresponds to the adrenal glands. The adrenals sit atop of your kidneys and are the energetic source of power. They produce the stress hormones of fight or flight. This chakra located at the level of your solar plexus is bright yellow—a place of energetic balance of will and emotion. I find that fear related disease sits here. Don’t you feel fear in the pit of your stomach? Well, that is your third chakra. This is the chakra most of the first world power hungry population is working on. This is the chakra where my bulimia resided…the pit of fear. Although I rarely meet a truly yellow aura, I’ve come to love this golden energy however briefly encountered. It feels like delight. Warm, bright sunshiny, long summer days filled with joy. That is a healthy third chakra.

The fourth chakra corresponds with the thymus. Known as the heart chakra, the fourth chakra is all about learning to love self and others. It is green with a rosy center. The heart chakra is expansive. I’ve had experiences of my heart chakra feeling as large as the ocean…deep and green with all the colors merged within it…where I am connected to all that is…through my heart. The thymus is a tiny gland that programs your white blood cells to know the difference between self and other to protect you. This is where we form healthy boundaries. Heart centered compassion begins with self-love. I’ve heard that Buddhist monks must learn compassion for self before committing themselves to compassionate service to others. This is a hard lesson for we’ve been acculturated to accept martyrdom and self-sacrifice as the means to salvation. Yet if you do not care for yourself, how can you care for others? It’s like the safety instructions given on the airplane. Put your own oxygen mask on first then help those dependent upon you. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

The fifth chakra corresponds with the thyroid. Known as the throat chakra, the fifth chakra is blue, clear and bright as a summer sky. The thyroid controls metabolism, how fast we burn energy. The fifth chakra orchestrates how we express ourselves, how we use energy. Do we speak our truth? If not, dis-ease sets in, usually as thyroid disorders, chronic sore throats, laryngitis. All her life, my mother was not able to wear necklaces…she felt as if she was choking to put anything around her throat. A classic fifth chakra issue. Through my own spiritual journey, I have worked through my chakras and just before my 50th birthday felt like I needed topaz to fully open my fifth chakra. My mother found a beautiful silver choker embedded with blue topaz in the form of a butterfly. Perfect gift for my transformation. Perfect timing to finally speak my truth by telling my story.

The sixth chakra corresponds with the pituitary gland. Known as the third eye, the sixth chakra is indigo (notice how the colors of the chakras are in rainbow alignment). The seat of insight, inner knowing, consciousness, the sixth chakra houses the pituitary which regulates the lower endocrine system. Although most refer to the pituitary as the master gland, I like to think of it as a middle manager, since it responds to hypothalamic hormones. The true Queen of the kingdom, the
hypothalamus controls the entire neuro-immune-endocrine system. But that’s another topic fully illustrated in my best-selling book- Hormones in Harmony®.

The seventh chakra corresponds with the pineal gland. Known as the crown chakra, the seventh is violet. I always imagine bowing my head in prayer and receiving divine enlightenment through my crown—white light refracting into the rainbow. When the sun goes down, the pineal gland produces the sleep hormone melatonin and our subconscious communicates with us through dreams. The crown chakra tends to be very open in what I call ethereal people while their lower chakras especially their roots are closed. They appear to me as bubbleheads with their aura concentrated around their head.
It seems to me that each of us has a dominant color to our life force. A violet life force often directs a person towards serving humanity through the healing arts, although I imagine this life force would make a good sage, priestess, wise man. I’ve been told by energy healers that I have a violet aura. I do see violet whenever I meditate and violet is a power color for me.

An indigo life force is unusual in adults. You might have heard of the Indigo Children. It is believed that these children of the new age are born with clear insight, deep inner knowing, and many gifts including clairvoyance, clairaudience and clairsentience. There’s a lot of speculation of when these children began to arrive, but the majority seemed to be born around the Harmonic Convergence from the early 80’s to the mid 90’s. An indigo life force would seem to guide one into world changing professions and fields. My son is indigo, not an easy aura to have as he grew up, yet is coming into resonance the closer we get to the shift.

A blue life force serves an orator, teacher, politician very well. A green life force seems to direct people into the service fields, agriculture, and environmental sciences. These seem to be salt of the earth, grounded balanced people. My husband has a green life force. Most people I have met with yellow auras seem to be very fearful, tend to have lots of anxiety. I believe that a healthy yellow life force would guide one into many fields of service as you would be empowered by love rather than fear reactive.

Orange auras are rare indeed. I think an orange life force would make amazing parents, especially mothers, but anyone who nurtures new young life would find great ease if they possessed an orange life force. People with red life forces build our world—artists, contractors, technologists, scientists, producers. Red empowers their creative forces and they live life passionately, although may not be easy to live with being fueled by a great survival instinct.

Whatever your dominant life force, all your chakras need to be in balance to stay healthy. I love to do a chakra meditation in which I am climbing a mountain of color. I lie or sit with my hands in a V, fingertips down between my legs to focus my energy in my root and begin my journey into self. I begin at the base of the mountain where the path is red. All the flowers and trees and rocks and even the path itself are shades of red. Often I am met by a red escort, sometimes male, sometimes female, always very sensual, passionate, hot energy. As I ascend the mountain, I can feel my energy rising from my root chakra into my belly. And the path shifts to reddish orange until it is bright and juicy as a naval orange.

Surrounded by orange foliage accompanied by an orange guide whose energy is very sweet, tender, I rise up my mountain of energy. The colors shift into mango, sunset orange-yellow. When I enter a bright yellow part of the path with golden sunflowers and wheat colored grasses, I feel a lightness in my solar plexus, like all my worries have been drained from me. A golden escort brings me higher up the mountain until I meet the green man. Here my escort is always male, perhaps because I see him as the divine masculine part of myself. I feel filled with love, an expansiveness in my chest that extends into my arms through my entire body and out beyond my aura. If I stay here long enough I feel a connection with all that is like I am an ocean of potential. The green path is very natural, earthy, very familiar and I can stay here forever, but the green man always encourages me to go on to the blue part of the journey. The colors shift from green to turquoise to sky blue. All the flowers, the trees, the grasses are a strange but peaceful shade of blue. Here any constriction in my throat relaxes and often I feel like singing. Although the song is wordless, it feels like the sound of my chakras—OH, AHH, OO, EE—a blessed relief. Here I may meet a blue escort, but more likely it is the wind blowing me through this part of my journey. The blue deepens, darkens until it is indigo in color and I feel perched within my own head, as if I am looking in behind my eyes. The mountain path is narrow and shorter now, intensely indigo blue. Like the deepest dye of blue jeans, it stains my perception, everything looks indigo. I am nearly there and stay on this part of the path very briefly.

At the top of the mountain I ascend white marble steps into a crystalline temple. Any garments I may be wearing fall away as I enter a clear pool of water. All my energy fields are cleansed as the water bathes away my fears, doubts, worries, disbelief. I step out of the pool and into a violet flame. Any negativity I have carried into the temple of my being is transformed by this flame into a gemstone. Sometimes the gem is yellow topaz if my work has been centered in clearing fear from my third chakra. Sometimes it is sapphire blue if my focus has been on speaking my truth. The transformation of my negative energy into a gem is a transmutation of poisons into gifts. I leave the gem as a gift to my temple. My crown chakra at this point feels very wide open, yet I am quite grounded. My lower chakras well lit, experienced and cherished keep me in my form, in the temple of my body. Once I set down my gift, I get to enjoy the view. The temple sits upon the mountain of my life and from here I can see where I’ve been and where I’m going, in fact all of my potentials lie before me, paths untaken, paths yet to explore. It is quite wondrous. Sometimes I am in need of guidance and if so I am met by a guide, an angel, more often than not an embodiment of my Higher Self. We sit in conference or stroll the temple gardens and I receive insight.

Sometimes I am taken to an inner room where my ancestral memory resides. Some refer to this as the Akashic records. I don’t spend much energy there, receiving the connections from the past, from my DNA, from my soul agreements and bridging them to my present existence. Sometimes I am in need of healing so I am taken to a healing room where I lie or rather levitate while I am being ministered to by what feels like angels. When I am through with my meditation, I slide or slip or dance back down the path to the point where my fingertips meet at my root.

49. COMING HOME

Excerpt from “My Lovedance”

I did not leave to find myself. Although Steve may say otherwise. The Mary experience was something else. Truly I was in between the worlds. Often he would ask me where I was when we took a walk and I would fall silent. I was in Galilee during those times. He felt me slip, how could he not?

So yes, for the eight months I composed my novel, I was barely here. In body, if not in spirit. I vowed not to do it again like that. Perhaps that’s why book two took so long to write. But I think it’s more likely that I cannot write what I do not know and I am just now coming into realization of my power as a creator of my reality…that there’s nowhere to go to find the truth, but within.

Many women and men leave everything they know to seek enlightenment. It just seems too darn hard to find peace and truth in the midst of the chaos of your life. Yet I did it. Many of us have stayed and found enlightenment right at home, within our communities, serving our neighbors, raising our families, walking the dogs. There’s nowhere to go. Heaven’s right there on earth ☺

March 5, 2003
The One came and it was joyous. Beginning with laughter and ending in laughter. Lightness as a child. I felt free and happy and maintain that joyousness even now. I shared it with another right away so I could say the meditation to ground it into my being. After nearly two hours the most significant piece surfaced back into my memory. God’s strategic plan for life is within the DNA.

I began my meditation with questions of truth and untruth. What are my misconceptions? The One came in a bubble of glee, laughing at my seriousness for it is not my nature. You are the funny one, the one that laughs freely, you are my joy. This meditation is not your way. It is for those serious sages that seek to commune with me. The One was all joy, all bliss.

Do you come to those serious ones who meditate with this same delight? Of course. I come to all who ask, as I am them and they are me.

I come to them in the form they can appreciate, stifling my laughter as not to offend. With you, I can laugh freely for you are lightness and joy. But you came to me when I began this serious meditation? Because I had to laugh at you. I am always with you. You recognize me through the glasses of your choosing. You, my dear, are choosing laughter and delight. Within your delight, your joy, your wonder, I exist. I am the joy, the light, the laughter, the bliss. And I am you.

The One came and I said are you the mother or the brother? It claimed to be all of them and everything and nothing. It is me and the world, the universe. It explained that life is like a spiral of events, all of history spirals upon itself. The One collapses the spiral into the dimension where it chooses to exist and there is no time nor space. All is at once. Life is a spiral of events unfolding existing without time and space. As you awaken into your sovereignty you will see that it is nothing to collapse the spiral and enjoy the view at your leisure.

Why then does all the human frailty come up? Why was I so bulimic just the night before, while editing my website pieces with apparent clarity. You must be more gentle with yourself. It’s silly really and lucky that you have a good sense of humor. All the issues of ego and self-delusion are like scum at the bottom of the pond which get swirled up to the surface of the heart chakra to be blown away by the winds of change. All the birthing anxiety you feel before the process is the human effort to maintain balance in the roiling waters.

I asked about my vision of reflection in the bowl of water that is my heart chakra. Must I be still in order to allow others to see themselves? Yes and no. Won’t the waters become stagnant if not flowing? The waters are living, flowing in and out of the heart chakra. According to the level of awakening of the being is the depth of clarity. What appears to be still is moving and alive, an organic, interactive process.

I asked about sovereignty, the levels of awakening. You are imagining awakening as a hierarchy with steps or levels like a ladder. That is the third dimensional view, part of the old paradigm. The fourth dimensional view is one of deepening. The deeper you become, the closer to the One. The depths exist within the bowl you call the heart chakra. I just wanted to dive in! It was like some of my dolphin dreams when I dive in deeply and can breathe, swimming with absolute freedom.

The grand finale unveiled the truth that I have always known. I was delighted.

Thinking about my corporate advisor’s bugging me about a strategic plan, I asked, “Did You have a strategic plan?”

The One laughed, “Of course, it’s in the DNA. The DNA is the strategic plan for all life.” I guess you have to ground it into reality for it to manifest. Even the One continues to change through the evolutionary process.

Of course it is the DNA. I have always known it. I have expressed it in my countless works, lectures, interactions, dreams. Yet this is much more simple. We all need a strategic plan to base our life upon to refer to in times of trouble, so that the flow is directed, understood. The strategic plan is encoded in our DNA. All creatures have DNA, all are part of life. We have never been abandoned on this earth plane. We were given a perpetual strategic plan for existence, for enlightenment. It has been within all the while.

48. ASCENSION

Excerpt from “My Lovedance”

During a guided meditation in my women’s circle, I saw an image of my Higher Self. Emerging from the heart of the earth, I sat astride a powerful horse, my golden body in sweet repose, a heavy dampness on my back…furled wings! Feeling compelled to create Her into form, I took my joy to my Q&A journal where I converse with my Higher Self. I’m the Q, she’s the A…

Q. Your form amazed me!
A. I am your Higher Self. Well connected to the Mother with the ability to fly through the dimensions.

Q. I would love to paint you, but I have not the skill
A. Ahh. You will see that your ability to manifest is not limited to what you know but all you “remember’. Time is a spiral. There is an artist in you.

I prefer to work with my hands so I thought “maybe a sculpture”. So I called Grandmother Kathy. She’s a retired art teacher. I asked if she had clay I could come and play with. “Of course!” she said and every Monday morning for 13 weeks I went to her house.

Grandmother Kathy midwifed me as I birthed my vision. The process was amazing. I never before created anything with such ease. I would work a little and then just put it aside. Patience was also birthed from my play with clay.

My Higher-Self assured me that my hands would “remember” how to form clay. And they did…

This sculpture that I created, I call Her Ascension, is my Higher Self formed from clay. Not only feminine, but in sacred union with the masculine. That is who I am now. She is who I’ve become in my 50 years on earth. Finally balanced.

When She was ready to be taken out of the kiln I drove to Kathy’s house filled with trepidation…and remembered for the first time…the feeling of driving to UCLA to pick up Jarys from the NICU. My whole life was going to change when I brought HER home, just like it did when I brought Jarys home. Not that I hadn’t transitioned in the time it took to create HER or the time it took to gestate, birth and wait for my premature baby to be strong enough to come home. Then I was cast back to 1984… my life forever changed by Jarys’ birth…

I nearly died giving birth. I had a rare form of toxemia called HEELP syndrome in which my sky rocketing blood pressure caused seizures while my liver and kidneys started to fail. And our premature 2 ½ pound baby was born intersex. While pregnant, I dreamt of a blond baby boy, so it was no surprise when our baby’s chromosome test revealed the male XY pattern. Yet the pediatric endocrinologist advised we raise our child as a girl. Neither of our mothers understood. The doctor explained that our child would not have secondary sex characteristics. “What’s that?” Our mothers asked. So I explained. “Body and facial hair.”

They laughed. “We’re Greek and Italian. The women in our family have to shave! That’s no reason to castrate the baby!” The endocrinologist had no experience with families who did not follow her medical advice. We were told, “It’s easier to make a hole than a pole.” I was shocked, not by the bluntness, but by the total lack of consideration for the effect of “his” hormones on the developing brain. If we raised “him” as a girl what psychological trauma would “she” undergo at puberty or later in young adulthood. The experts didn’t know. So at 22 and 23 years old, Steve and I had to make a very difficult choice. We decided to follow my intuition, go against medical advice, and raise our baby as a boy.

Jarys became my impetus to learn everything about hormones. I felt intuitively that his DNA was not set in stone but could change. He could make cell receptors for male hormone. He could be anything he wanted to be. So I became a hormone expert which led to developing an Intuitive Integrative Medical model, which led to researching the hypothalamus and genetic upregulation, which led to the dreams of a formula to optimize genetic potential, which led to the manufacture of Genesis Gold® – which has changed my life.

Since bringing Ascension home, my life has changed again. My relationship has deepened even more with my beloved husband. My relationship with my mother became more refined. I have truly released my firstborn and they are blossoming. My daughter grows in leaps and bounds and no longer am I entangled with her. My relationship with my sisters is blooming – no drama at the last family gathering. And being with my father was joyous – Thank God! I am in deep gratitude to my Higher Self for helping me birth my truth.

47. MY ALTAR, MYSELF

Excerpt from “My Lovedance”

Directly across from the door to our home is my altar. A lavender macramé cloth covers the small winged table. Objects sacred to me adorn the four corners with candles in the cardinal directions.

The altar changes from time to time according to my needs. Often my children ask to be put on the altar. And I make elaborate altars for them, holding the energy as they face challenges like when my eldest interviewed for their first real teaching job (and thankfully got it!), and my daughter tested for nursing school (and she got in too!) When Steve’s Gran first fell ill, he asked me to dedicate an altar for her. And after she passed, the altar reflected our love and devotion to her.

Today, items sacred to our upcoming retreat lie on the altar…The red cord I made to help us connect to our ancestors and each other. The crow’s feather bound in triple goddess colors that helped us choose the theme of our retreat. A golden frame filled with photos of men I treasure — my husband, my father, my grandfather — my beloved divine masculine.

And in the front — my Box of Me.

I made this one up… but what healing has come from creating a Box of Me. It started just after my father’s surgery, my sisters had moved him into a senior apartment complex and found a box of old photos. In it was a photo I do not recall, but looking at the black and white image of me at thirteen months old dressed in an Easter dress holding a little purse and gazing out with old soul eyes, I remembered. Showing my parents how to parent me and feeling their emotions. I took that photo and pasted it on the Box of Me. Somehow I would heal the child within. And through the Box of Me, placing me on my altar.

Inside the Box of Me, the mementos change yet each represents my dreams, my hopes, my intentions. I’ve guided many patients and some women friends in the creation of a Box of Me. How therapeutic it has been to honor ourselves, to put into this special box all that we hope for and say to the universe YES! Yes, I am. And more so to fall in love with ourselves. Because that’s where love starts. If we don’t love and honor and cherish ourselves, how can we love and honor and cherish each other?

It’s hard for most women to make a Box of Me…harder yet to place anything sacred within their Box of Me. It is start, a fresh start to healing the child within. I ask them to choose a photo of themselves that is before the time they remember the trauma of childhood. The innocent time before becoming domesticated into humanity. A time when they remember being happy. Few go back to adolescence, most go back early childhood, some all the way back to infancy.

In the center lies the golden runner embroidered by Steve’s Yia Yia…a wedding gift given to me by his father who came from Greece to witness our union 28 years ago. Upon the runner sits Ascension.

46. MEDICINE WHEELS AND SACRED SPACES

Excerpt from “My Lovedance”

Like many on their journey, I turned to the writing of others to learn more about myself. In the 90’s I was fascinated by Native American spirituality and read most of Mary Summer Rain’s books in which she is mentored by a Native American elder…a grandmother of great wisdom. I am grateful the author shared her path. So much so that I share mine with you now.

So I created a Medicine Wheel garden in our side yard. I divided the eight sections with rocks and planted each section with the same types of flowers and herbs. In each I placed sacred items representing my path on the medicine wheel. And the garden grew so lovely, except in those areas that I needed to work on—self-esteem and relationships. Another message from Mother Earth to me.

When we moved here I longed for another Medicine Wheel. We created garden spaces, beautiful outdoor rooms lush with plants. The herb garden, my patients pass through to get to the office, grew lush and vibrant in less than six weeks. My husband and I have very green thumbs. I plant intuitively and he puts in the watering and keeps the critters under control. Well, he and the cat keep the critters under control.

In the north section of our property is our horse corral. The barn was built shortly after the house in the 50’s, so there’s horse energy in the place of wisdom. Though I find my horse most wise indeed, I still envisioned a Medicine Wheel under the sprawling oak in the north corner. There I would seek wisdom from the land, from Gaia herself.

We had perfect rocks for the Medicine Wheel. Dug up by the pool builders, these smooth golden boulders would mark the directions elegantly. But Steve had parked the horse trailer under the oak. How I longed for another Medicine Wheel…

And one day, the oak split and crushed the trailer that was parked in the spot designated for my Medicine Wheel. That’s what I get for wanting something badly enough. It comes to me. I don’t miss the horse trailer, but I sure do love my Medicine Wheel. And so does my horse ☺

Shane treats the Medicine Wheel as sacred, at least she seems to. I never find manure within the circle. The old gelding that died last fall wasn’t as respectful. Yet a few years ago, we were watching the Fourth of July firework display when the horses spooked and ran into the circle of rocks, then turned and calmly watched the fireworks with us.

In the morning after I feed and pick up manure, I seek refuge in my Medicine Wheel. I sit on the Eastern rock and meditate. Usually the animals join me. Fortunately, the rock is big enough for me, a cat in my lap, a dog by my side and a pygmy goat. The horse doesn’t try to get into my lap like the goat, but she hovers. It’s awesome to be surrounded by my beloved animals.

It’s important for my soul growth to create sacred spaces. I recommend it to my patients when they begin their journey or are feeling lost. Create a sacred space. Somewhere in your home or outside in the garden, set aside a spot for you to connect to your Higher Self. Outside I have my Medicine Wheel. Inside I have My Altar.