Every year my women’s circle holds a retreat. In 2010, I felt this great need for freedom by the time we chose our theme. The group asked me to intuitively choose a card from the Triple Goddess Deck. I used another woman’s Kuan Yin necklace to act as a pendulum. The card chosen was Karmic Imprints and it was all about freedom—freedom from ancestral imprinting and your shadow. The work was deep and dark and powerful. What an amazing life changing retreat. That is where I finally let go of the last of my judgment. Finally let go of Bulimic Deb.

This year before we met for our first planning meeting, crow left me a feather…Bringer of the Triple Goddess Tarot Cards, I tied the triple goddess colors of white, red, and black around the crow feather and the eldest “crone” of our circle used the feather to divine the card. Blossoming Spirit was chosen—card number 5, the hierophant—with a strong rejuvenation theme. Just what I dreamt for our next retreat.

For three weeks, I asked crow for another feather having given up the beautiful one to the circle. And only after I abandoned the search to go on a carefree run with my dog Charlie did I find a black and white feather…balance…and then crow graced me with a pure black feather under the orange tree—where I pick sunshine to consume every morning before greeting my animals and old man crow!

Some of us felt that to truly birth ourselves anew as Blossoming Spirit, we must identify what is golden in the Divine Masculine. Yet most of the circle struggled with patriarchy. The emotional energy was so profound that I can remember to this day who was at the meeting, where they sat, what they wore, what they said. I watched as a few of the women took on the warrior energy while some just left their bodies. I was almost tempted to gather them into a protective circle of white light, when I felt guided to just observe.

After witnessing their reaction, I took my heavy heart to my beloved husband who shone some divine masculine light of wisdom upon me. Then I sat in counsel with my higher self, consulted with wise women and wondered when this Father Wound would be finally healed. For Blossoming Spirit to emerge at the fall equinox, balance must be reached.

It is time to heal the split with the Divine Masculine. I began this work exactly a year ago, composing and publishing two articles regarding the Divine Masculine before I was hit with Death…there my focus lie for months through the Karmic Imprint retreat and well after as I released all that no longer served my soul.

The summer before, I had an amazing dream that reminded me of an aspect of the Divine Masculine that has been forgotten…

I enter the Home Depot through the lumber department to get to the garden center. I’m going to buy jasmine. The center of the Home Depot is a raised platform and as I ascend the steps to the platform, a great Golden Bear comes through the door. It’s huge, larger than life, a golden orange color, translucent, brilliantly colored like a child’s crayon, surreal. I’m the only one to see it. It snuffles around the entry and I crouch down on the steps. It snuffles its way over to me. And snuffles my hair, my face, my neck. Then taps a great claw over my right eye, then over my third eye, again and again. Then it hunkers down over me like a mother bear over a cub. Yet I know this bear is male. I feel loved and protected like when Steve throws a leg over me, pulls me into his body—trapped by love. Trapped under the bear, I am secure, feeling the soft fur of its belly, the weight of its body, the warmth, the mass…protected in a golden cave of bear energy. Then the bear transforms into a…man. I can feel his naked body, the roughness of his hair, the shift in weight, mass, warmth from bear to man. We stand and face each other. I am WOMAN and He is MAN…all men, naked, dark skin and hair like a Mediterranean man. We take each other’s hands and then he disappears. A woman friend of mine says… “That is the forgotten aspect of the Divine Masculine.” And I wake up.

When I lie in Steve’s arms, his leg pressing over mine—the weight, heat and furriness comfortable, secure, I am very grateful to have found my home in his heart. I live with the Golden Bear energy of the Divine Masculine.

Although I have taken steps to heal my relationship with my own father and it’s going well, the Divine Masculine is up again…wanting to be healed in my soul, in the collective feminine, in the world…

Excerpt from My LoveDance. Available on Amazon


At the fall meeting of the Ojai Grandmother’s Council, we were reminded of the seeds of intention that we planted in the spring. Some could not remember their intentions, some remembered but did not tend them. I was acutely aware of mine. My birthday is on the Spring Equinox and every year I plant seeds of intention with the hopes of a great harvest come fall. That year my intention was to be open to receive abundance.

Oh, I have much. My life is very rich. A beautiful home, fertile land, healthy, happy children, an amazing relationship with my beloved husband, a fulfilling healthcare practice, yet I feel that there is more…that I am to go out into the world and share my wisdom…and to do that…I need resources…money and people to help…and although my business pays the bills, there is debt incurred to build the practice, to manufacture Genesis Gold®…and my book—LoveDance®—waiting for release.

Since planting my seeds of intention, I’d been acutely aware of the abundance in my life, living in gratitude as the universe has seen fit to challenge me…with death, and loss, and sacrifice. As if I had to empty my Soul Purse over and over to make room for the abundance to come.

That night… I have sequence of five dreams…

All the time I’m dreaming, I’m lucid. I fall in and out of sleep after a tremendous hot flash at 12:30—three hours after I fell asleep—and spend time rolling around considering what I should do about my hormonal challenge…then set my intention to know what it’s all about at the soul level and fall asleep…

…The first dream opens with a gathering of women in a great big house. I’m trying to settle in and my roommate shows up. One of my young patients and she’s distraught, hands me her pants. She needs another pair just like them. I tell her pants are expensive in…Italy…wow, that’s where we are!… and she hands me $50. I look at the pants…olive green suede polyester nothing wrong with them except a blood stain at the crotch. She is mortified that she started her period…this is the patient I saw last week who missed her period…I explain she can wash them out, but she will never wear them again—stained with women’s blood…I am saddened by her shame, I want to make it better for her…and then I see that she is me as a girl not at peace with my femininity and all women afraid they are unclean as the world has treated them. And I feel a deep sense of gratitude for finally embracing my feminine power…

…and the dream shifts. I’m with the same gathering, but so crowded, too many women… A fake sense of feminine power emanates from them—over inflated, dangerous—a roomful of women wearing pants under skirts. I need to get away. But it’s so crowded. Finally, I remember I can fly! I start to push off away from the crowded staircase…and another woman, one from my women’s circle…says “Hold her!” I am chased by two women, struggling to gain altitude through the crowded place, they grasp my trailing legs, but cannot catch me. I feel light but too low…the energy is one of a dog teasing its owners into a game of chase– I head for the light, but they close the opening before I can fly there…I’m trapped in a great big tent! …Lucid, I try to wake up…and realize until I get the message of the dream sequence, I’m not going anywhere…I fly up through ropes, tight ropes. Below me, all the women I’ve gotten involved with in this life and beyond—from girls scouts, to sorority sisters, to the nurse practitioners I led, and the women’s circle, the grandmothers, and interspersed are the women gurus who wove in and out of my life these past 13 years…all who wanted me to join them, to lead them… …my lucid self so happy to be flying again (I haven’t flown in my dreams since the women’s retreat just before the Autumn Equinox where we worked on our karmic imprints)…How funny that my subconscious traps me in a circus tent with crazy women. I laugh…

….and slip into another dream. A great gathering of all my dead patients. Everyone’s there…Eddie in the background—smoking! —Lacy, Michael, many whose names I’ve forgotten but not their faces—whole and healthy—and their energy. All doing whatever they please…peace emanates from them. The last patient I buried is there too. A sense of guilt carried from my waking world trickles into my dreamtime. Barbara is the spokeswoman and she’s explaining where Anna is on her spirit path so soon after her death. “There is no need for regret. You danced your best dance with each of us. We are where we need to be at this time in human consciousness.” Gran’s there too. And she is walking very strangely…like she’s in a space suit, sort of praying mantis like. I wonder if her walker would help, and Gran apologizes…it’s broken, how difficult it is to move on earth, so much easier over there. I have a catalog in my hands and pick out a handicap toilet for her…pink and orange!…which seems silly since I know Gran isn’t staying…and feel bad that we didn’t make these accommodations for her while she was alive. I show her the toilet. “I never had such a bright toilet!” she says, “but I don’t think I’ll need one. I’m not staying, dear. This is the first time you let me in.” True, she has visited Steve many times. I inquire about the others. She says “I have very nice visits with Steve, but the rest are harder.” I hope she isn’t spending too much time and effort trying to contact those who are not ready to receive her. She laughs and says, no she is very busy over there, but not to worry. Time is not an issue for her anymore and effort, well it is easier to be in the presence of love than fear… In my observer, lucid dreamer state, I want to spend more time with the dead, knowing it’s precious…it’s the first time I’ve dreamt of Gran and she feels so real…our conversations though bizarre yet so genuine. The only one I miss in the dreams is Hope…she’s not with the grateful dead…but I’m not sad. I know my beloved Great Dane, my Hope, is where she belongs…

…then I’m on a huge field, tossing a yellow grass-stained nerf football to a black dog and a blond boy. Every pass, they switch off, I’m not a good thrower and neither of them catch well. We pass through many other people’s games/lives, communicate with them and move on. All are men and boys…fathers and sons. Playing amongst a group of black men and boys, one of which compliments my butt as I bend over the tub to find the dog tied up like a broken doll almost fetal like. I keep finding its limp body left behind with the ball underwater. At first I dismiss the comment as I did in my youth with an excuse and then I replay the scene and graciously thank the man and he swells and merges with the other black men, their sons receiving their vibration as the sacred feminine received them…back to the fetal dog and used up ball left underwater…I realize the boy has moved on… this boy-dog issue I know is mine…my inner boy child leaving me and the spirit dog connecting him to the otherworld left behind…this is part of the healing the divine masculine within me…

…then I’m back in the house—my recurring house dream. Usually in the “house” dream, I am so frustrated…my sisters keep me from getting what I need to get done, I’m always cooking or cleaning and everything is a disaster…this time I am just watching while being in the midst of them…like I’m watching a home movie while being in it … this time, instead of wandering the never-ending rooms, and halls, I stay in the kitchen-family room where all the family is gathered. It’s our rental, yet I have no sense of ownership… The family has rented it before and now have a disaster with the microwave. I am surprised I am not making a fuss that they are trying to microwave a whole chicken… Steve even looks to me for a response, but it is like I am just observing, it’s all very funny and we’re playing our silly parts again and again with the same outcome, I even tease about some goofy fake fur pants I plan to get my brother-in-law, and my fashionable sister looks at me horrified… Later I am to meet Steve for a trip, he’s coming back to the house to pick me up, but my sister needs my car to go to work…and she’s dressed in these too big jeans, strange polka dot hose and heels, a vest she made up out of our dead PopPop’s pajama top and a nice leather jacket on top of it all. I send her out with my blessing, but need to get my purse out of the car because it has everything I need to go away with Steve. I’m surprised at the floppy little purse that seems so empty (my violet soul purse with a golden clasp)…I never carry purses in my dream…always have what I need somewhere on me… And then I am my daughter meeting her beloved to go to Hawaii. ..and I realize all is superfluous because I must get ready for a wedding…

Then I wake up!

The energy of the dreams was curiosity…taking a trip down the rabbit hole of my subconscious…and at times I try to get out but I know it’s all a dream and stay to learn more. There’s no fear, just bemusement. I know I am growing while in the dark dream state…I intended this before falling asleep …I know these dreams represent what I have cleared from my soul purse…my fears of being a woman, my tendencies to get captured by others and taken advantage of, the shame of failing in my healing practice, letting go of the boy to allow room for the divine masculine, being with my family all the interior mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons and not being smothered by my relationships with them but seeing the humor in life and being gracious with my humanity…then going on the next stage of my soul journey, preparing to experience the sacred marriage of divine feminine and divine masculine within me in the heart of the earth…starting all over again like newlyweds… The last sequence with the empty purse (I never dream of purses!) with Hope not part of the dead but so deeply embedded in my soul, not something to be cleared out of my soul “purse”… something to keep always.

This crazy dream sequence was in fact…the past six months of soul work from the time I planted the seed of intention to be open to receive abundance…through all the work of clearing out all that doesn’t serve me, and making room for a great harvest, a filling up of soul…a completeness of self…whole, finally to be whole.

Excerpt from My LoveDance. Available on Amazon

My LOVEDANCE is here-Lessons from a Spirit on a Human Journey

Well, I finally published my memoir. Here’s an excerpt:




After reading my 50th birthday post on Facebook, an friend from elementary school came to see me as a patient. As if we were never separated…our friendship re-bloomed after 25 years apart. Then she read my book—LoveDance— and asked, “When did you begin your spiritual journey?”

I answered: When I realized I am spirit on a human journey.

I am living my dream. I feel it before it happens. I celebrate this grand adventure. I am living life in sacred relationship with my beloved husband of 33 years, with my enlightened children and their spouses, with my very human family who loves me in spite of my transformation, with my patients who come more and more ripe to receive healing, with my circle of friends who each dance beautifully with me in their uniquely loving ways.

Like most, I began my adult life playing the game of being human—I became a Human Doing. We are so good at Doing, yet not so good at Being. We judge ourselves by what we’ve accomplished, what we’ve done. One of my greatest life lessons has been to become a Human Being. I did this by remembering that I am not a human on a spiritual journey. I am spirit on a human journey.

I’ve always known. Yet the world around me didn’t seem ready to remember. Most of my life, I felt different than my sisters, my peers, my colleagues. I felt out of tune with them. I was dancing to a different beat. It wasn’t until I danced among other spiritual seekers that I realized my rhythm.

Yet I had little in common with the spiritual seekers. Most were seeking to ascend the human condition. Few lived in intimate relationships with others. I believe enlightenment is found in our human relationships. And so many spiritual seekers suffered in their human form. I don’t believe suffering is our innate human condition.

I believe in fully investing in this life here on earth. Allowing spirit to lead. Releasing mental constructs that no longer serve. Perceiving life through new senses. Feeling my emotions. Learning my soul lessons. Becoming more refined vibrationally. Upregulating my DNA so that I might enjoy the journey in physical form as I hold more light.

I don’t have a way to show you. I have my story. How I got to where I am—spiritually, mentally, and physically. My way of ascending. Perhaps it’s yours too. Perhaps in reading my story, you might remember who you are, why you are here, and where we are going.

Thanks to my curious friend, I know the time is ripe to share my story.

I’ve been writing since I was a teenager. Stories, novelettes, poetry and, of course, a diary. I even wrote letters to God. I did a bit of professional writing, published in health care journals, but it wasn’t until I wrote my first novel—LoveDance Awakening the Divine Daughter—did I find story telling to be the best way to teach. I share my stories when I consult with patients, when I lecture to audiences both professional and public, and when I am in circle with my women friends. Story is how we learn.

In this book, I am including writings from my past so you can see where I’ve come from. All of it is my truth as I understood it at the time.

While I hope my writing is enlightening, in essence this is my healing journey. I have kept a journal since my youth. The pages have always welcomed me, comforted me in times of sorrow, and gave me space to place my reflections. In writing, I learn more about me, about my life, about my world. And usually it is what I cared most to record in my precious journal that I use to comfort others.

A memoir lays you wide open and quite bare…yet it is who I am…like the heroine of my first book—Mary Magdalen—I unveil my heart and soul easily.

My first book LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter is a novel. I started with fiction because I was afraid to tell my story. So I told HerStory and remembered the Sacred Feminine Way of Healing. I had been practicing it, in the guise of Intuitive Integrative Medicine, yet now I was living it, embodying the Sacred Feminine and finally felt whole.

And my healing practice which focused on treating the Hormonally Challenged expanded. I began openly treating the whole person. Body, Mind and Soul. As I began embodying my own LoveDance, I began to teach what I knew, really knew in my heart, in my soul, in every cell of my body…I knew how to heal. I knew how to be in relationship with men, women and children. I remembered how to dance with the Earth herself…my DNA was dancing health.

My husband, a retired police officer, says that taking an accident report from three witnesses reveals three different stories. Everyone has their unique perspective. Each of my family members has theirs. And I have mine. This is not their story. It is mine from my unique perspective.

My mother read my story ten years ago and didn’t agree. So I went deeper and left out what I assumed was her perspective and just presented mine. After reading this version of my story, she nodded, “Finally you’re telling your story, not mine.”

I am no longer hiding behind anyone else’s veil. I am ready to unveil my soul to you, my reader. Those in my story may not be ready to unveil theirs. So they are clothed by alias names. My mother was proud to be named by her given name…so she is who she is. She may have cast the veil from her face, but I am utterly naked. It is my nature to unveil my all to know myself more deeply, to share my experiences and what I have learned in being in human form on this beautiful earth.

I turned 55 on the Spring Equinox 2016. I have always known that the old me would not exist at this time. I am transforming. And now I share my journey with you, finally.

Love and Light,

Eloha – Sacred Unity

My favorite Aramaic name for the Divine is “Eloha” meaning the Divine One. In his Mikra on page 49 of LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter, Yeshua’s brother Jacob scribes the royal wedding:

1:1 Eloha, I, Jacob bar Joseph bar Hillel descendent of
Solomon bar David descendent of Judah bar Jacob bar Isaac bar
Avraham, stand as keeper of the records of Yisrael, the title
given by the Divine to Father Jacob for whom I am named.
1:2 On the first day of the year 3772, Yeshua bar Joseph of the
House of David wed Mary of the Hasmonaean House. The
lineage of our people has been patriarchal from the time of
Avraham, but through this marriage, the bloodline shifts to
matriarchal inheritance.
1:3 The Oneness separated itself into light and dark, masculine
and feminine. In Sacred Unity, the two become as One. Ameyn.

To me, Eloha represents Sacred Unity.

Abundant Joy,


Disentangle Your Cords of Attachment

Driving back home on Southern California freeways crowded with tourists taking advantage of the last glorious summer weekend…an ache in my breast, a dark shadow where the sun once shone, an eclipse in my existence…I left my daughter, my sunshine, at the university in San Diego.


How long I’ve prepared for this transition, how many soulful meditations, how many intimate conversations with so many other mothers who have gone through this phase of life. Yet in spite of all my work, during that last kiss goodbye, the cords that bound our hearts pulled so tight to nearly snap.


I released my son into the world four years before, but my daughter filled up the space that he left behind, so much so that now there is a void in my heart, in my home, in my life.


Having counseled my patients, hundreds of them, through life’s transitions, I should know better, I should take my own advice. Haven’t I told them how within the web of life, we float upon the river of consciousness, connected by invisible threads from heart chakra to heart chakra? Attached to everyone, and entangled with all we love, all we hate, all with whom we struggle.


So as a mother of an empty nest, some would advise that I cut the cord for her wellbeing and mine. But that is an old paradigm teaching and an illusion for we can never cut ourselves off from creation. We are all on the web connected together. There is only one of us here. We are all part of the One Consciousness, all cells of the One Being. Every cell in my body knows it is a part of me just like I am a part of the earth and the sun, the plants and the creatures. Research by neuro-biologist, Candace Pert PhD, has shown that even when cells, tissues, or whole organs are removed, that the cells “remember” where they came from responding more like the donor than the transplant recipient. And I am connected to my daughter, imprinted since her birth, no matter how distant she is from me.


I know this to be true, because I can feel her emotion, especially her fear…it has waken me up in the middle of the night when she has most needed me. I trust this connection even more so than my vision. It has served me as a mother and especially as a healer. I feel my patients’ dis-ease in the mirror of my being, but I have learned over the years not to embody their imbalances. Although connected to each and every one, I have learned to disentangle from the drama of being a healer and this is what I teach to my patients.


Imagine your life color as an infinitely strong gossamer thread emerging from your heart chakra to the heart of every other living thing. Each aspect of creation has its own color, born on the rainbow of light; its own vibration, its own sound. Imagine someone you are struggling with—your spouse, your child, your parent, your boss, whoever. What is their color? Imagine their cord and your cord braided together with knots scattered here and there. These knots represent your struggles, your difficulties in the relationship, your entanglements with each other.


Most of the people I counsel—my patients, my family, my friends—complain about the dramatic struggle within their relationships, know that they must make a change, come to me for help…and I tell them to disentangle from that being they are struggling with. We do the visualization together. They see their color, they see the color of the other person, they see themselves tied up in knots, they feel this entanglement literally as an ache in their breast, but when I begin to have them identify the knots in their cords of attachment, while they can name the problems that the knots represent, they have no idea how to untangle themselves. In fact most are afraid, most claim they cannot let go.


Upon the river of consciousness we all float, but entangled with others we struggle for breath, trussed together heart to heart, only one can breathe at a time, while the other holds her breath and prays. Everyone in our lives is a mirror to our souls, each reflecting back what we most need to learn, the judgments we hold of our humanity. What we like in another is what we appreciate in ourselves, what we dislike is what we need to change or accept in us.


How can you see in the mirror if your nose is pressed to the glass? That is why my patients struggle with disentanglement because they cannot see clearly what the lesson is in the struggle with another.


So I help them identify the most recent knot and going back in time a few more knots. Oh, they can name the knots, but not the gifts. What gifts? What could possibly be good about these struggles? Why, I tell them, every struggle is a gift that must be unwrapped. To receive the gift, first you must recognize it as a gift. Not all gifts have lovely exteriors in fact the most precious may be very ugly.


My Nana used to wrap up her garbage. Living in the city, the more compact the trash, the more likely the trash man would take it away, except Nana used to wrap it so nicely that Poppop would find it left on the step. The trash man thought it was a gift, so lovely was the wrapping. You see, you can’t always tell by the wrapping; life’s gifts are rarely wrapped so nicely.


My husband struggled with letting our daughter grow up. Once when he overstepped his parental boundaries, she told him after raising him for eighteen years she was done! He cried, “but I don’t know how to let you go.” She turned him over to me, “Mom, remember those cords of attachment? Dad needs your help.”


So I explained the concept and he amazed me by visualizing their life colors just as I do. He is forest-green, she—golden as sunshine. He could see how they were tied together in a lovely fishtail braid, and he could see the knots, especially how they struggled with her growing independence, but he couldn’t see the gift in lifting her curfew and allowing her some freedom before she took off to college. He could only see the sleeplessness until she arrived home at night, the worry about her making safe decisions. I pointed out that unlike his good friend who had not loosened the reins on his daughter, my husband after weeks of suffering adapted slowly albeit surely, finally falling asleep well before she arrived home. When she is away at college, he will rest, but his poor friend will not.


My husband agreed, but still struggled with receiving the gift of the knot, claiming, “I don’t want to let her go.” Heartbreakingly honest. Fearing to let go, fearing that we may not be able to float on our own in the river of consciousness, not trusting that we are still connected, we struggle and tighten the knots.


I did this same exercise while writing my first book, LoveDance. I wrote from the perspective of the heroine and like most novelists I used those in my life to base my characters. Envisioning how “Mary” would disentangle her cords of attachment to “Teoma”, I realized I must disentangle from my husband. For three days, he refused to go to work, sick to his stomach. I didn’t have a chance, while nursing him, to do the meditation let alone write it. Finally he returned to work and I opened myself to receive the gift of the encounter with my laptop. While writing Mary’s disentanglement from Teoma, I disentangled my violet life cord from my husband’s vibrant green. The knots of our most recent struggles all the way back to those formed when our son was born prematurely. The older knots were so well fermented I could sip the sweet wine of their gifts easily. The more recent knots—like our struggle with our changing roles as parents and the interference writing a book brought to our daily life—were more acrid in their newness, but I took the bitter cup and using the lubrication of love, found the gifts.


Mary and I floated free, breathing easily in the river of consciousness, while Teoma struggled to cling to the bank feeling very much abandoned. The moment I pushed “save”, my husband called. He was having a horrible day and “felt abandoned.” In spite of my reassurance, it took three weeks of repetitive visualizations before he relaxed and I no longer felt the painful ache of his sense of abandonment mirrored in my heart.


Now I did this same visualization with my son, disentangling my violet from his indigo. My knots of expectation in his success in school were more difficult to unravel than the original knot between us representing his difficult birth. All the challenges of his prematurity and his numerous endocrine problems became one of my most profound gifts. He is why I do what I do, why I became an expert in clinical neuro-immune-endocrinology. The more recent knot representing my struggle with allowing him to be on his own, trusting that he would be safe and happy in a world without my constant maternal influence was a bit more difficult. The well hidden gift turned out to be…accepting my transformation as a mother from nurturer-protector to confidante-advisor. In accepting him, I accepted myself. Twenty-four hours after I loosened the last knot between us, my wise son called me from college in San Francisco. “What are you doing down there, Mom? I feel lighter than ever!” I explained the disentanglement and he encouraged me to continue and “let go of us all, even yourself, and see, how enlightened you can be.”


So I did. Each and every significant person in my life, I disentangled from, I felt more and more free and my relationships with each person changed, transformed by love into something finer. I even disentangled from all I believed myself to be—a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a healer, a woman, even from Deborah—and discovered my truth, which is joy.


Since disentangling from our daughter while she was a sophomore in high school, now that the time had come to let her grow up and go away to college, I am handling it better than I did with my son. With him, my body reminded me of the pain of birthing…I suffered from a sciatic condition (just like when I gave birth) that lasted from the moment I helped him fill out his college applications to the day I drove him up to the University of San Francisco. Now with my daughter, the pain is a bittersweet heartache, not physically manifested. The kind of ache that actually feels good, like watching a sad movie and crying your heart out and knowing the joy of being human is to feel passionately.


In fact my ethereal connection with my children has been so acutely enhanced since disentangling from them, that I realize the knots of my entanglements interfered with the clarity of my perceptions. Since letting my daughter grow up, I sleep soundly, only twice bolting out of bed, feeling her panic and calmly contacting her (via the telephone, since telepathy is difficult through the veil of fear) and all was well. I’ve taught her to trust the inner knowing and realize that through trial and error she will learn to ride the wave of our ethereal connection.


Actually when it came time to escort our daughter to college, my husband did pretty well. He cried of course, and while at first resisting disentanglement, he admitted to having worked on it and yes, he felt lighter, less fearful, more willing to let her go and trust she will be well. And we have both begun to receive the gift of her leaving, becoming closer than ever, falling in love all over again—just the two of us.


So how might you release the illusion of your entanglements? Envision your life color, whatever comes to you is fine, then envision the color of the other person. Your red cord and her blue cord are braided nicely for the most part, but knotted in places. Like a precious necklace entangled into the thread of a silk sweater you do not want to break either, but carefully loosen the knots using the lubrication of love. I live near the beach and off the coast, derricks pump oil from the floor of the Pacific Ocean. Often I come home with tar stuck to the soles of my feet. Only oil gets it off—like dissolving like. These knots in your cords of attachment seem like tar, but they are gifts of love and only the lubrication of love can dissolve the knots. If you look with eyes of love you can find the gift in each knot. It’s not easy, but after two or three knots, the entangled cords start unraveling, setting you free to float in the river of consciousness. You do not need to share with the person you are releasing what you have done, but your relationship WILL change.


No matter how ugly the wrapping, there is always a gift of love waiting to be discovered. So just let go. Disentangling your cords of attachment will free you to be your truth—the most precious gift of all.


Dis-ease – a soul message

Our bodies manifest dis-ease as a message to our souls. Of course accidents happen and illness occurs, but as healer, I have yet to encounter a dis-ease that does not hold a lesson.

I know the importance of maintaining physical well being through healthy lifestyle choices, yet when injury or illness occurs, I too get the opportunity to practice self healing.

Receiving the gift of the dis-ease is the first step toward wellness.

On page 153 of LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter  Mary Magdalen teaches a beautiful lesson on the message of dis-ease.

May you be well,

Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP-BC

Life Mirrors Consciousness

Becoming conscious of creating our reality is a great step in awakening to our truth. 


I wrote LoveDance in five parts mirroring the existential questions we all eventually ask—

  • Who am I
  • Why am I Here
  • Where am I Going
  • What is my Purpose
  • When is the Time Ripe

In the book, Mary Magdalen discovers the answers to these five questions to be one joyous challenge after another.

 “Do not struggle with this being. It is her fear of the power of the sacred feminine that sharpens her tongue. Reach out to her, Mary. She is not your enemy, but a reflection of your incomplete sense of self.”

From page 152 of LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter

Life mirrors consciousness. What you see in others is your soul lesson. 

Only 222 copies of the first edition left. Order your autographed copy of LoveDance today.

May you have Abundant Joy,

Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP-BC

Intuitive Integrative Health

Mary Magdalen unveils HERstory


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LoveDance is HERstory

It is a voice of the Shekhinah

It is a remembrance of the Sacred Feminine 

LoveDance is the dance of the Divine within

It is reverence of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine

It is union of the split self through Sacred Marriage. 

LoveDance is a path to awakening

It is the tale of a divine couple who knew their truth

It is your story. 

LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter came to me in a dream.

Although I promised my patients and colleagues to finally reveal my secrets to optimal health in a self help book, the universe had different plans for me.  My life’s work morphed into a novel. By writing Mary’s awakening, I began to receive my truth that in spite of my scientific training, I am an intuitive healer. My patients encouraged me to divulge the lessons from the book, so I released chapters of the first draft for feedback.

It should have been no surprise that my readers had transformational experiences, but I was in awe, because that’s what happened to me. I always believed in the profound potential within each of us. That’s how I believe healing occurs. It’s already encoded; we just have to tap in to the potential for it to become manifest.

My understanding of human consciousness is an evolution of the Mother-Father-Son-Daughter aspects of the Divine. Originally, humans worshipped the earth as the Divine Mother, her body was ours. Then we looked into the cosmos and envisioned the Divine Father as spirit. In the last two millennia, avatars teaching in parables initiated a revolution of the mind, and ever since the Divine Son has been the center of religious worship.

Now the time is ripe for the Divine Daughter to manifest in human consciousness. She is emotion weaving the mind, body, and soul into Sacred Unity with All That Is.

I believe Mary was the original embodiment of the Divine Daughter achieving Sacred Union with Yeshua, the embodiment of the Divine Son. Although lost in history due to the fear-based struggle between politics and religion, her story is fortunately being remembered. Writing from Mary Magdalen’s perspective helped me remember who I am. Sharing in her journey may help you, the reader, gain a remembrance of your truth.

As it turns out, I did write a healing book. Everything I wished to teach—the bio-psycho-spiritual healing lessons—are in LoveDance. In story form, the way a beloved avatar taught some two thousand years ago. 

Abundant Joy, 



Mary Magdalen: What’s HERstory?

lovedancelovedancelovedancelovedanceThere’s History, then there’s HERstory…

What happened to the sacred feminine perspective? History has been recorded by men (or if by the rare feminine hand under a masculine penname) for the written word is power and men fear to give it up. Historians provide a rough framework, a timeline of political events highlighting the wars over land, the uprising of kings, a record of mankind—HISstory.

 But where’s HERstory? The passionate details of ancient life, the chalice which held the blood of the people? Where are the women and children, the celebrations of life? The hard metal tools man made survived, yet the softness of women eroded with time.   

Women have kept alive HERstory through song and dance. Watch the delicate movements of the bellydancer’s hands, she is telling a story only her sisters recognize. The sacred feminine is not lost, nor is she forgotten. She has been veiled by history. 

 My debut novel LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter unveils the passion of Mary Magdalen with intimate details of Mary’s life with the women in the chamam, of her travels with zealots through volatile Roman Palestine, and of her secrets shared with Yeshua in the bridal chambers.  

lovedance                       LoveDance is HERstory.