LoveDance-Pearls Of Wisdom

45. SACRED FEMININE CONNECTIONS

I alone chose Cat as the Druid oracle of my Intuition. Cat is aware of the spirit world. That I am. Cat observes without judgment. This, I’ll have to work on.

In 2003, I was given the Native American Medicine Cards as a gift and promptly chose my nine animal totems. Was I shocked! I had thought of myself as strong almost masculine in my ability to achieve. Yet I chose very feminine cards. Even my masculine side was represented by Spider which the Native Americans refer to as Grandmother Spider, the one who weaves our reality.

And Steve chose very masculine cards like Wolf and Mountain Lion. While I showed the world my tough side, Steve had no qualms revealing his softer side. The friend who gifted me with the cards was not surprised by my totems. “The world perceives you as very feminine, in spite of your masculine stance.”

The veil had been lifted. And from then on I knew myself as an embodiment of the Sacred Feminine. Writing LoveDance® allowed me to live freely as Woman. As the Divine Daughter, I danced my heart through the free expression of my emotion. And over time, I have come to cherish my Divine Mother Self. Now entering menopause, I hope to know myself as the Divine Grandmother.
The Change doesn’t come quickly. It is a process. I recognized this after reading Women Who Run With the Wolves.

April 5, 2009
I am undergoing a transformation. I am entering the change…and it is truly changing my life. My relationship with my sisters is improved. And although I rarely write, rarely blog, rarely market, all the old seeds are coming to fruit.

Dreams are lucid, exploring my inner psyche. I am being initiated into the grandmother’s council and I love it.

I type this on a new computer. The old died, like so much passing in my life…Sara, Auntie, Karen …death leads to birth. The winds of change clear the way for the new.

Most profound of all is my ability to instantly manifest. What I think becomes. If I desire something greatly enough, it manifests. I have had little need to confront my worries as they absolve before me. I am in the state of realization. Becoming the Magdalen, the way to the divine.

The polarity of good and evil does not exist in my world. All is of joy. All is of love. All is well. Lessons cloaked in distasteful garb are often the most profound. Rarely is it difficult now. I move into my sage-hood with ease.

Estes relates stories as a means to understand the psyche. I see great connection with LoveDance® and her rendition of the archetypal stories. I naturally wrote into the story the maiden, the child-self, the queen/bride, the king/groom, the mage and the gardener. Perhaps this is why the book touches so many on such a deep level. Story heals souls.

I am so very well, so very blessed. Gratitude has become a way of life. Love is my essence. The world is opening to receive me and I am prepared to bare all to be Joy.

And here in this book, I bare all and you, my reader, are open to receive. Tonight I shall take the role of Crone in the triad that serves our women’s circle. A practice run as sage or the beginning of the next phase of my life…hmmm…

21. HELIUM BALLOON

While this is my story, it’s also ours. We’ve been together since we were kids. Steve’s a main character in my story. If it wasn’t for him, I may not have reconnected to my truth so early in my life. His love became the foundation of my awakening. He grounds me into this reality so that my dreams might manifest.

When our daughter was only five, she described us as a helium balloon.

“You’re the balloon, Mommy.”

“Then what’s Daddy, Kyra?”

“He’s the string!” She rolled her eyes. “Without him, you would fly off to outer space.”

After tucking her in with a kiss and a story, I related our conversation to her father.

He laughed. “She’s right. I am the string to your balloon. You need me to keep you on earth. And I need you to get me off the ground.”

It’s sometimes eerie how well we fit together.

When my youngest sister was pregnant with her last child, one of my twin sisters and I gave her baby shower. It was a couple’s shower so Steve came along. Exhausted from working a night shift and getting so little sleep before the afternoon shower, he had a headache and went inside to lie down.

I had a great game for the dozen couples to play. It involved diapering a “baby” the old-fashioned way with cloth diapers and pins. The trick was that each couple had to do it together using only one hand. Needless to say, there was a lot of laughter, poorly diapered dolls, and when my pregnant sister and her husband took their turn, a lot of blood and cursing. No one could do it under two minutes.
My other sister had an idea. “Let’s see you and Steve do it.” I protested. The game was for the guests. “Please,” she begged. “I’ll get Steve!” And she hurried into the house.

We had never played this silly shower game before but Steve could not resist my sister’s pleas. So we linked arms. He was the right hand and I was the left. And silently in perfect unison as if we were one body, we diapered the “baby”. My sister held it up, “I knew it! Less than 30 seconds and perfectly diapered. And look, no blood!”

It was so natural to be in perfect harmony with my beloved even for a silly shower game. Like I said, my story is his too

Excerpt from My LoveDance. Available on Amazon

My LOVEDANCE is here-Lessons from a Spirit on a Human Journey

Well, I finally published my memoir. Here’s an excerpt:

MY LOVEDANCE -EBOOK IS FREE ON AMAZON FROM DECEMBER 8-13, 2016

AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

After reading my 50th birthday post on Facebook, an friend from elementary school came to see me as a patient. As if we were never separated…our friendship re-bloomed after 25 years apart. Then she read my book—LoveDance— and asked, “When did you begin your spiritual journey?”

I answered: When I realized I am spirit on a human journey.

I am living my dream. I feel it before it happens. I celebrate this grand adventure. I am living life in sacred relationship with my beloved husband of 33 years, with my enlightened children and their spouses, with my very human family who loves me in spite of my transformation, with my patients who come more and more ripe to receive healing, with my circle of friends who each dance beautifully with me in their uniquely loving ways.

Like most, I began my adult life playing the game of being human—I became a Human Doing. We are so good at Doing, yet not so good at Being. We judge ourselves by what we’ve accomplished, what we’ve done. One of my greatest life lessons has been to become a Human Being. I did this by remembering that I am not a human on a spiritual journey. I am spirit on a human journey.

I’ve always known. Yet the world around me didn’t seem ready to remember. Most of my life, I felt different than my sisters, my peers, my colleagues. I felt out of tune with them. I was dancing to a different beat. It wasn’t until I danced among other spiritual seekers that I realized my rhythm.

Yet I had little in common with the spiritual seekers. Most were seeking to ascend the human condition. Few lived in intimate relationships with others. I believe enlightenment is found in our human relationships. And so many spiritual seekers suffered in their human form. I don’t believe suffering is our innate human condition.

I believe in fully investing in this life here on earth. Allowing spirit to lead. Releasing mental constructs that no longer serve. Perceiving life through new senses. Feeling my emotions. Learning my soul lessons. Becoming more refined vibrationally. Upregulating my DNA so that I might enjoy the journey in physical form as I hold more light.

I don’t have a way to show you. I have my story. How I got to where I am—spiritually, mentally, and physically. My way of ascending. Perhaps it’s yours too. Perhaps in reading my story, you might remember who you are, why you are here, and where we are going.

Thanks to my curious friend, I know the time is ripe to share my story.

I’ve been writing since I was a teenager. Stories, novelettes, poetry and, of course, a diary. I even wrote letters to God. I did a bit of professional writing, published in health care journals, but it wasn’t until I wrote my first novel—LoveDance Awakening the Divine Daughter—did I find story telling to be the best way to teach. I share my stories when I consult with patients, when I lecture to audiences both professional and public, and when I am in circle with my women friends. Story is how we learn.

In this book, I am including writings from my past so you can see where I’ve come from. All of it is my truth as I understood it at the time.

While I hope my writing is enlightening, in essence this is my healing journey. I have kept a journal since my youth. The pages have always welcomed me, comforted me in times of sorrow, and gave me space to place my reflections. In writing, I learn more about me, about my life, about my world. And usually it is what I cared most to record in my precious journal that I use to comfort others.

A memoir lays you wide open and quite bare…yet it is who I am…like the heroine of my first book—Mary Magdalen—I unveil my heart and soul easily.

My first book LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter is a novel. I started with fiction because I was afraid to tell my story. So I told HerStory and remembered the Sacred Feminine Way of Healing. I had been practicing it, in the guise of Intuitive Integrative Medicine, yet now I was living it, embodying the Sacred Feminine and finally felt whole.

And my healing practice which focused on treating the Hormonally Challenged expanded. I began openly treating the whole person. Body, Mind and Soul. As I began embodying my own LoveDance, I began to teach what I knew, really knew in my heart, in my soul, in every cell of my body…I knew how to heal. I knew how to be in relationship with men, women and children. I remembered how to dance with the Earth herself…my DNA was dancing health.

My husband, a retired police officer, says that taking an accident report from three witnesses reveals three different stories. Everyone has their unique perspective. Each of my family members has theirs. And I have mine. This is not their story. It is mine from my unique perspective.

My mother read my story ten years ago and didn’t agree. So I went deeper and left out what I assumed was her perspective and just presented mine. After reading this version of my story, she nodded, “Finally you’re telling your story, not mine.”

I am no longer hiding behind anyone else’s veil. I am ready to unveil my soul to you, my reader. Those in my story may not be ready to unveil theirs. So they are clothed by alias names. My mother was proud to be named by her given name…so she is who she is. She may have cast the veil from her face, but I am utterly naked. It is my nature to unveil my all to know myself more deeply, to share my experiences and what I have learned in being in human form on this beautiful earth.

I turned 55 on the Spring Equinox 2016. I have always known that the old me would not exist at this time. I am transforming. And now I share my journey with you, finally.

Love and Light,
Deborah

Conscious Creators

“Most humans create unconsciously. Unaware that their thoughts are being fueled by their emotion, they believe that their existence is a destiny beyond their control. Creation is a simple formula—Clear Intention coupled with Pure Desire in Ripe Timing—becomes manifestation. I ask that each of you consider yourselves as conscious creators.”

Yeshua from page 492 of LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter