5. DANCING WITH MY SHADOW

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On my son’s 26th birthday….I released my shadow self. No longer do I feel the obsessive urges, the anxiety that can only be quelled through binging and purging. It’s over. In the past I have been in recovery…during my two pregnancies and until my babies were weaned. Yet I struggled every day, became obsessive over every nutrient I consumed…not really free, only a temporary vacation from bulimia. And again when I wrote LoveDance. For exactly eight months I obsessively wrote—420,000 words—yet as soon as the muse left me, bulimia found me.

At my women’s retreat, I created a mask of my shadow self—Bulimic Deb—then danced with her before casting her into the flames…such a difficult thing to do. I mourned her death for weeks. I felt so profoundly afterwards. Every emotion I had not let myself feel—came in profound waves. Yet I was amazed at the underlying peace. I rode the waves of my emotions with a new found ease. I was at peace for the first time since I was 14. After 35 years on and off the bulimic wagon, I was free.

What does that mean? To be free of bulimia. Well, I no longer obsess about food. I feel hunger and then I eat and for the first time enjoy each bite. . I have my former trigger foods in my pantry. Not because I’m testing myself, but because I could not use all the chocolate chips I bought from Costco for my holiday baking. And I forget about them until the next time I feel like baking and am surprised to find a pound of chocolate chips…silent, no longer tempting me. Just me and chocolate happily co-existing. Not that I don’t crave dark chocolate every moon cycle and I do indulge, gratefully consuming each luscious piece feeling my serotonin raising with each bite.

I’ve always associated eating disorders with addictions. Such a horrible addiction because you cannot abstain from food, like you can from alcohol or drugs. And when I was bulimic, I had to abstain especially from my trigger foods. Over the past few years I desensitized myself by ritualizing my trigger foods. I started with dark chocolate. I ate it ceremoniously on fine china with a glass of red wine on a table set with lace under candle light while watching a feel good movie. All my senses were engaged in pleasure and from then on (that was in 2008) I have been able to consume dark chocolate in moderation without it triggering a binge. Not so milk chocolate…so that’s why forgetting about having chocolate chips in the house amazes me.

I do have one regret. When I cast my mask into the flames (and I was the last to do it…reluctant to let Bulimic Deb go) I felt the smoke was carried elsewhere. So two months later at Thanksgiving, I was not surprised to see one of my nieces bone thin and stuffing her face…the family curse, my sister calls it. An unresolved karmic imprint, I believe.

I do not feel guilt or shame related to food or my body. In fact I love my body. I am so grateful for this beautiful healthy body that has taught me my greatest lessons, protected me from my greatest fears, blessed me by being the most perfect vehicle for my transformation. After seven years in a cocoon of my making, I am emerging as a butterfly.

And I no longer feel like purging my emotions. Now I feel them, really sit within my heart to be with my emotions. And I have found a profound gratitude for my rich passionate emotions. So powerful they seem to control the weather. Or at least the climate of my relationships. And with this awareness, I have learned to ride the wave of my emotions…and let them go into the ocean of feeling that makes me human and connects me to all that is.

 

Excerpt from My LoveDance. Now available on Amazon.

4. SEVEN YEAR CYCLES

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I am multi-sensory. We all are. Yet rarely admit it. Being clairsentient, clairvoyant, clairaudient is our nature, a soulful means of interpreting reality. When I was a little girl, I thought everyone felt the plants, heard the animals, saw the energies hovering over the earth and around people. I thought everyone had lucid dreams, knew the answers on tests, could tell what their parents were feeling in spite of their words. I still think we all have this capability. Yet most of us are taught that the world of the imaginal is just that…imagination. Not real.

I have a curious mind. My left brain is extremely active. I need to organize what I know. Bridge the gap between feeling and logic. I love numbers, math, patterns. There is a flow to life. Six months before my 50th birthday, I consulted with an astrologer who charted my life in 29 year lunar cycles. I was fascinated with the accuracy of interpretation. I was born under a tiny crescent moon on the Spring Equinox of 1961. My life has unfolded beautifully in seven year cycles…and it’s happening again.

In 2003, I birthed my nutraceutical Genesis Gold and my book LoveDance. Both have changed my life dramatically. A week before Genesis Gold was finally bottled my beloved old mare died, then a week after that, the man who helped me get my creation manufactured died. Death has preceded birth every single time…My life has unfolded in seven year cycles…like the phases of the moon…

September 26, 1969. I am eight years old. A great fire is raging in the dry hills behind our neighborhood. I am holding the ladder steady so my mother will not fall as she waters down our roof to prevent our house from catching fire. My sisters are watching television…the debut of The Brady Bunch…I really want to see it. Yet I am separated from the children. I am older than them…not just in age but my soul is older. All our neighbors are packing up their cars. They’re leaving. My mother is very worried. My father is not here. In that moment as my mother’s fear and anger pours down upon me like the smoke pouring down the hillside, I feel the weight of the world. The death of innocence…preceded the year before by the first death in my life. Our Easter bunny was killed by our Samoyed. Life is precious. You have to take care of the ones you love. I have spent the past seven years taking care of my parents and sisters. The next seven years, I learn how to depend solely on me.

Summer of 1975. I am fourteen. Walking with my sisters back to the pool. Poppop just bought us ice cream. Daddy is behind us talking to Pop. He calls up to me, “Debbie, your elbows are showing.” I know exactly what he means. It is our family code for “your bathing suit has crept up your butt”. Deftly I remedy the situation, yet this time I hear in his voice a different tone and I feel strange. Daddy sees me as a young woman. I look around me…three little sisters I am responsible for, a mother who feels diminished, a grandmother here on holiday but not here to support me through this time…she fears the blood as much as Momma, as much as every adult woman I know. I look at the ice cream dripping down my hand. This is the last ice cream I will ever eat. That moment I become anorexic. By the time I start high school, I’m twenty pounds lighter. My periods and breasts are gone. And I experience the second death…I find my mare’s aborted foal and take it to school so my biology teacher can display it in a giant pickle jar. Science intrigues me. For seven years, I devote my energy to being the top in my class…fully cognizant that I am preparing for a career in health care…to legitimize my “knowing”.

December, 1982. I am twenty-one. My beloved grandparents finally come to live in California. As soon as Poppop steps off the plane, I know he’s dying. I cannot save him. Three weeks later we bury him. Only six months before I graduate from UCLA nursing school, I vow to never lose another patient. This begins a long cycle of my savior complex. It is seven years from Poppop’s death before I see him in my dreams. Seven tough years of transition, loss, growth. Graduation, first job as an RN, getting married, moving away from home to begin a new life, birthing my son prematurely, getting my masters degree, birthing my daughter. Lots of birth followed Poppop’s death. The cycle of birth and death well set now. My eating disorder has transformed from anorexia to bulimia. Only purging relieves me of the great pain of never being enough.

Spring of 1990. I am working as a family nurse practitioner at an urgent care. I pick up a chart and start to enter an exam room, but the doctor I’m working with takes the chart and hands me another. An HMO patient she doesn’t want to see. Compensation is poor and her hands are tied within managed care. I don’t want to be party to what I predict will become a managed care fiasco so I get involved with my professional nurse practitioner association and begin courting a private doctor. I spend six years under his employment making great money, increasing my skills and confidence while learning to balance motherhood, partnership, and career. Spiritually…a time of discovery… outside of the dogma I learned in the church. Still bulimia rules my days, sleep walking rules my nights, I can never do enough, be enough…

The death that preceded that birth cycle…our German Shepherd pup died suddenly in the fall of 1989. My husband was so broken hearted…Jarys consoled him on the back patio—put his little arm around his sobbing father’s shoulders—told his father that souls are like rental videos that must be returned to God….that night Poppop comes to me in a dream…the first time since he died.

September 5, 1996. I am trying to resuscitate my daughter’s puppy. Her screams fill my senses. Kyra dreamt its death. I console her with trepidation. My own dreams are so real, I act them out nearly every night. I am a sleepwalker. So thoroughly immersed in the obsessive compulsive nature of bulimia, I cannot do enough to keep from feeling so very deeply. I obsessively exercise as a competitive triathlete. My body fat is so low that I do not have periods. I am ready for change, tired of working as an employee in conventional medicine. So I create change…As a regional representative then state president of the California Coalition of Nurse Practitioners, I lead my colleagues to improve our professional status, like prescribing privileges and malpractice coverage for independent nurse practitioners. And in July of 1997, I birth my own private practice—Full Circle Family Health.

The cocoon for my greatest transformation, within Full Circle Family Health, I learn a great deal about holistic healing, the biochemistry of the neuro-immune-endocrine system, how to integrate alternative therapies with conventional medicine. I develop a holistic model of Intuitive Integrative Medicine, collect loads of empirical data, create a nutritional product—Genesis Gold—that would become the foundation of my healing practice. In fact Genesis Gold would provide my hypothalamus with the necessary nutrients to finally heal my obsessive bulimic state of mind and more so, discover the psycho-spiritual roots of this dis-ease.

July 2002. We move to the house in my dreams…a little yellow house with white shutters…with room for my family, my horses and my practice. Finally I bring Full Circle Family Health home and begin living my most authentic life. Healing energy emanates from every corner of the property. Our animals serve therapeutic roles. Even the herb garden, the fruit trees and the flowers play their part in healing me, my family, my patients and my staff. Finally I am living my dreams.

And oh, yes…since I first consumed the Sacred Seven amino acids…the formula that would become the secret sauce in Genesis Gold… my sleep walking ceased. I slept peacefully through the night, began having regular periods, before starting the menopausal shift 5 years after my younger sisters. My bulimia abated as my obsessive compulsive nature mellowed. More so, my soul growth has been profound…and unlike so many of the spiritual gurus I have treated over the years who suffered physically while seeking enlightenment, I have experienced optimal health physically, emotionally and mentally.

By the Spring Equinox 2011, I had completed seven – seven year cycles. Death filled the year before my 50th birthday—first Steve’s Gran then two days later a beloved patient, and then Hope, our beloved Great Dane died on September 5th—fourteen years after Kyra’s puppy. The last death was Bulimic Deb….

 

Excerpt from My LoveDance 

3. SNAKE MEDICINE

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On a hot summer morning, my last day of vacation before work resumes, I am searching for something on the back of my horse. Shane has a hesitant energy about her, barn-sour perhaps, missing her goat. I ask her to move on, but she stops three times on the trail. Charlie, my border collie-greyhound mix tucks himself under her tail. Both are usually gregarious, anxious to get out, to run side by side. Not today.

I reminisce. Our vacation in Cancun last week was amazing. A heart felt sensuous discovery. Kundalini energy rising from the alabaster sand through the turquoise sea and into puffy white clouds floating in the azure sky. Serpentine spirals floating in my heart chakra. I see these same serpentine energies—a dance of silver and gold—arising from my pituitary into my crown, down my spine and into my mare’s. Her hooves solidify our connection to the earth.

At the crest of the trail, the watering hole is dry. I dismount at the fire gate and water the dog. My mare is anxious, and Charlie drinks little attending only to her. As I mount up, Shane moves out from under me. Not her usual behavior. “Come on” I say, “Just a short ride up the keyhole and we’ll return.” Shane settles into herself, Charlie at her heels, to trot briskly up the single track. On our left the mountain rises, on our right a 50 foot drop to a dry creek bed. The dusty trail is but three foot wide. We are going too fast.

Before I can check her, my mare leaps. I hear rattling. I look back to see Charlie leap too. Over a huge snake, five to six feet in length, rattling its warning as it tries to cross the trail to the safety of the brushy cliff side. The dog looks back. I call for him. The snake’s rattling follows us as we descend to a wider part of the trail.

I feel exhilarated. I know all is well. That both animals are fine. I wrapped us all in white light before we left, but dutifully dismount to check them for puncture wounds. They are fine just excited. Not frothing with fear, but energized, ready to run. I know Snake has purposefully crossed my path.

On the way home I remember losing a day on the beaches of Mexico. I woke up feeling poisoned. My body ached, skin sensitive to the touch, nauseated, dizzy. Was it the sun? The margaritas? Dancing all night? I’ve done all before and never felt so sick, not hung over, but poisoned. Finally I purged the toxins onto the sand and slept the day away, dreaming serpentine images. Did I transmute snake medicine then?

Before I fall asleep that night, I set my intentions to dream of snake. And Snake comes. This time lying flat on a platform, neatly folded in half, head to tail. I am observing in this dream. Participating yet also observing. I, as a young woman, kneel with a dustpan to sweep very close to the snake. I tell her to get back or the snake will strike. Without a warning rattle, Snake bites her right hand. I go to her and she transforms into a baby. I cradle her in my arms, the poison mottling her tender skin. Before I can take her to the emergency room, others try to kill the snake. They do a poor job and I stop them. I cannot save this snake, but I do kneel by its partially severed head and release its spirit with gratitude before finishing the kill. I take the head and slip it into a purse which rests against my solar plexus.

The doctors take their time in treating the baby. When they finally arrive it has been 22 hours since she was bitten. Her entire body is mottled yellowish green, yet she is conscious, cooing at me. A female physician takes a huge irrigation syringe filled with what looks like marinade and flushes the baby orally. The mottling disappears. I ask what is in the syringe. “Oh, it’s lemon juice, orange juice, olive oil, hot pepper and melon!” Similar to my gallbladder flush recipe. The doctor smiles, “We do this for the parents. The child knows how to transmute the poison.”

The baby has gotten up, transformed now to a toddler. She looks at me. It is me as a toddler…big green doe eyes, dark thick hair, and my child says to me the adult, “I have been transmuting poisons all my life.”

I wake up in gratitude for Snake medicine.

 

Excerpt from My LoveDance – Now Available on Amazon

2. ALL IS OF THE DIVINE

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August 6th, 1983 I married my beloved. We were sealed together for all eternity. We took it seriously…the sealing…although I have a certain amnesia when it comes to the secret temple ceremony. Sort of like Mary Magdalen. My life is loosely portrayed in Mary’s story. I called it LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter…but it is My LoveDance…my Awakening to my Divine Daughter Potential…and with that I became whole…fully embodying the Divine Mother and now becoming the Crone (the Divine Grandmother energy of the Triple Goddess).

I have a memory of being in my mother’s womb, looking between my legs to find NOTHING…and feeling great despair because I knew how hard it would be to accomplish my mission on earth in female form. Thank the goddess, the world shifted during my lifetime…or did I shift my world?

I have started writing my story so many times. I have lots of stories collected over the years…my experiences as a human being. I have read with interest other’s stories of their awakening to their power…especially women…who tend to be more intimate in their story telling. Mine is different, I believe, in that I came knowing this life was about joy. I remember a calm acceptance of the family I chose… a gentle leading of my mother and father as I taught them how to parent me. A shepherding of my sisters…protecting and guiding them. Then a great need to be me…yet perceiving the world as unsupportive…I arrested my blossoming womanhood until I met my beloved.

I do not remember a time when I was not in communication with the earth, with the animals, with the plants. I have always felt others…their hopes, their fears, their dis-ease…I sometimes heard their thoughts, but mostly knew their hearts…their truth…saw their divine light. I learned very early the system of being human. How not to get distracted by the unseen in order to be present in reality. It’s as if I have been able to maintain my 3D channel while simultaneously watching many other channels…some I gathered information from, some entertained me, some guided me.

The past and the future were intertwined with my present. I could always see my future, dreaming of it many years before it would come to pass. I learned very early to wrinkle time…I remember reading A Wrinkle in Time and knowing that the author knew how too. I also remember disappearing.

I slipped in and out of the reality in which my friends and family existed quite easily. Playing hide and seek, I used this ability. I did not think of it as a talent then, I just did it. Only in writing Mary’s story did I consider how I did it. Before Mary’s story came to me, I did not consider my past lives.

Well, I did have a dream just before dreaming I was Mary Magdalen. I was a gypsy in a concentration camp. My husband had been killed. My daughter had been safely removed from the country by my father. I was a healer and the Nazis were using my abilities to assist in their experiments. I found a way to thwart them by releasing the souls of their victims before they could finish torturing them. I worked with my deceased spouse (the same one I’m married to now) who would take their souls through the veil. I knew they would eventually kill me, but I was not frightened…rather excited by our subterfuge. I woke up in joyous wonder of that time.

I knew then as I know now that all is of the Divine. Yes, all…the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s a matter of perspective. It’s our choice how we perceive life’s events. We can choose fear as the container to hold our experiences. Or we can choose love.

 

Excerpt from My LoveDance – a memoir of a spirit on an human journey

1. CHOOSING LOVE

MY LOVEDANCE -EBOOK IS FREE ON AMAZON FROM DECEMBER 8-13, 2016

I enter the cave from the cove. Bright orange fish reflect the fading light. Swimming silently in the brisk dark water, I go deeper. Voices echo indistinctly as kayakers enter the ocean side of this long dark sea cavern. The tunnel curves so the light cannot follow. I can see nothing. Only feel the brush of kelp against my bare legs and smooth fluttering of fish passing near. I raise my masked face to take in the dark. This could be scary if I chose fear. But I choose love. And swim on through the dark.

My niece swims past me never raising her head, so I follow her out to the open ocean. I promised her mother, I would watch over her. We wait for my sister to join us. We wait and wait. And after a long while, my sister appears. She clutches a rock nearest the tunnel and rips off her mask, breathing hard, panic emanating from her. She looked up in the dark and chose fear.

I calm her down. Get her to use my snorkel to slow her breath…and swim with one hand on her back. My sister blames her reaction on a kayaker taking underwater photography. “It was creepy. Pornographic!” I sigh…we are in wetsuits. When choosing fear…we often need to find something to be afraid of. I asked my niece if she was frightened. “No, you were with me.”

Three ways of being human. We can be like a little child and Trust. We can be like most of humanity and reflexively choose Fear. Or we can be conscious and choose Love.

Always three choices. The world is not duality, but a trinity of possibility.

This life I chose Love.

 

* Excerpt from My LoveDance

My LOVEDANCE is here-Lessons from a Spirit on a Human Journey

Well, I finally published my memoir. Here’s an excerpt:

MY LOVEDANCE -EBOOK IS FREE ON AMAZON FROM DECEMBER 8-13, 2016

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AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

After reading my 50th birthday post on Facebook, an friend from elementary school came to see me as a patient. As if we were never separated…our friendship re-bloomed after 25 years apart. Then she read my book—LoveDance— and asked, “When did you begin your spiritual journey?”

I answered: When I realized I am spirit on a human journey.

I am living my dream. I feel it before it happens. I celebrate this grand adventure. I am living life in sacred relationship with my beloved husband of 33 years, with my enlightened children and their spouses, with my very human family who loves me in spite of my transformation, with my patients who come more and more ripe to receive healing, with my circle of friends who each dance beautifully with me in their uniquely loving ways.

Like most, I began my adult life playing the game of being human—I became a Human Doing. We are so good at Doing, yet not so good at Being. We judge ourselves by what we’ve accomplished, what we’ve done. One of my greatest life lessons has been to become a Human Being. I did this by remembering that I am not a human on a spiritual journey. I am spirit on a human journey.

I’ve always known. Yet the world around me didn’t seem ready to remember. Most of my life, I felt different than my sisters, my peers, my colleagues. I felt out of tune with them. I was dancing to a different beat. It wasn’t until I danced among other spiritual seekers that I realized my rhythm.

Yet I had little in common with the spiritual seekers. Most were seeking to ascend the human condition. Few lived in intimate relationships with others. I believe enlightenment is found in our human relationships. And so many spiritual seekers suffered in their human form. I don’t believe suffering is our innate human condition.

I believe in fully investing in this life here on earth. Allowing spirit to lead. Releasing mental constructs that no longer serve. Perceiving life through new senses. Feeling my emotions. Learning my soul lessons. Becoming more refined vibrationally. Upregulating my DNA so that I might enjoy the journey in physical form as I hold more light.

I don’t have a way to show you. I have my story. How I got to where I am—spiritually, mentally, and physically. My way of ascending. Perhaps it’s yours too. Perhaps in reading my story, you might remember who you are, why you are here, and where we are going.

Thanks to my curious friend, I know the time is ripe to share my story.

I’ve been writing since I was a teenager. Stories, novelettes, poetry and, of course, a diary. I even wrote letters to God. I did a bit of professional writing, published in health care journals, but it wasn’t until I wrote my first novel—LoveDance Awakening the Divine Daughter—did I find story telling to be the best way to teach. I share my stories when I consult with patients, when I lecture to audiences both professional and public, and when I am in circle with my women friends. Story is how we learn.

In this book, I am including writings from my past so you can see where I’ve come from. All of it is my truth as I understood it at the time.

While I hope my writing is enlightening, in essence this is my healing journey. I have kept a journal since my youth. The pages have always welcomed me, comforted me in times of sorrow, and gave me space to place my reflections. In writing, I learn more about me, about my life, about my world. And usually it is what I cared most to record in my precious journal that I use to comfort others.

A memoir lays you wide open and quite bare…yet it is who I am…like the heroine of my first book—Mary Magdalen—I unveil my heart and soul easily.

My first book LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter is a novel. I started with fiction because I was afraid to tell my story. So I told HerStory and remembered the Sacred Feminine Way of Healing. I had been practicing it, in the guise of Intuitive Integrative Medicine, yet now I was living it, embodying the Sacred Feminine and finally felt whole.

And my healing practice which focused on treating the Hormonally Challenged expanded. I began openly treating the whole person. Body, Mind and Soul. As I began embodying my own LoveDance, I began to teach what I knew, really knew in my heart, in my soul, in every cell of my body…I knew how to heal. I knew how to be in relationship with men, women and children. I remembered how to dance with the Earth herself…my DNA was dancing health.

My husband, a retired police officer, says that taking an accident report from three witnesses reveals three different stories. Everyone has their unique perspective. Each of my family members has theirs. And I have mine. This is not their story. It is mine from my unique perspective.

My mother read my story ten years ago and didn’t agree. So I went deeper and left out what I assumed was her perspective and just presented mine. After reading this version of my story, she nodded, “Finally you’re telling your story, not mine.”

I am no longer hiding behind anyone else’s veil. I am ready to unveil my soul to you, my reader. Those in my story may not be ready to unveil theirs. So they are clothed by alias names. My mother was proud to be named by her given name…so she is who she is. She may have cast the veil from her face, but I am utterly naked. It is my nature to unveil my all to know myself more deeply, to share my experiences and what I have learned in being in human form on this beautiful earth.

I turned 55 on the Spring Equinox 2016. I have always known that the old me would not exist at this time. I am transforming. And now I share my journey with you, finally.

Love and Light,
Deborah

Emerging from Parasitic to Partnership in our Health Care System

Since being back in the throng of conventional medicine it has become very clear to me that our health care system is parasitic. It feeds off dis-ease.

Insurance pays poorly or not at all for health education to empower patients. It pays by diagnoses—the more dis-eased, the more it pays. Yet you cannot treat everything at once.

No, insurances do not pay well if you try to take care of all the patient’s concerns in one visit. It pays to have the patient come back and back again for each complaint.

And there is no time to educate, let alone empower the patient.

Our health care system encourages parasitic relationships between health care providers and patients. If you get them well, you lose money.

I once worked for a doctor who complained that I gave the patients too much information. He said: If they know too much, they won’t need us.

I left his parasitic practice and opened my own—a symbiotic health care practice. Free from the confines of insurance reimbursement, I am able to spend time educating my patients. And they got better. And then they send their friends and family. I never advertise—my whole practice is word of mouth referrals.

My work began by insisting on symbiotic relationships with my patients. We became partners in their health care. I educated rather than medicated. I tried to shine the light of illumination on their dis-ease. How their lifestyle choices, environmental influences, and belief systems affected their physiology.

What maladaptive genes might be lurking in their DNA and how to change their genetic expression. Yes, it is possible to transform DNA—it’s why I created Genesis Gold.

I’ve found that Genesis Gold often brings our parasitic relationships up to the surface of our consciousness. I created Genesis Gold to heal maladaptive genetic expression—one of which is vulnerability to parasites. Our body mirrors our soul’s lessons. Genesis Gold illuminates that which no longer serves, so we might release it.

As my patients take more responsibility, own their knowledge, transform their lives, they experience gnosis—they “know” innately in their bodies the truth of their dis-ease and begin to heal.

So when the time is ripe, dig in and muck out your parasites—inside and out.

And I shall work on the health care system by teaching patients how to partner with their health care providers.

Who’s the Maestro of your Symphony of Health?

A biochemical symphony controls your body’s function. Hormones, neurotransmitters and immune factors act as biochemical messengers that sing to your DNA. If your hormones are in harmony, your DNA dances health.

These “hormones” control all of your body’s functioning—digestion, detoxification, growth, repair, sleep, sex drive, reproduction, stress response, metabolism, body composition, immunity, healing, cognition, learning and memory.

Neuro-immune-endocrinology—the Symphony of Hormones

I have been taking care of patients of all ages for nearly 30 years. While my conventional training focused on the treatment of the symptoms of disease, my intuition guided me to search for the underlying roots of dis-ease.

As a nurse practitioner practicing intuitive integrative medicine, I perceive the roots of dis-ease…biochemical, psychological, spiritual. Yet I believe healing is innate, encoded within our DNA.

Your Hypothalamus—the Maestro

When I left conventional medicine to practice Intuitive Integrative Medicine, I started to see the most challenging cases. That’s when I began to assess and focus my treatments on the symphony of hormones produced by the neurological, immune, and endocrine systems.

That’s when I discovered, rather rediscovered, the HYPOTHALAMUS.

The hypothalamus is a crucial organ in your brain that runs the entire neuro-immune-endocrine systems. And when the “hormones” produced by the neuro-immune-endocrine system are out of balance, the body malfunctions which we call dis-ease.

Although, we learn about the hypothalamus in premed anatomy and physiology classes, by the time we begin our health care practice, we forget the importance of this primitive brain structure. We just don’t appreciate the hypothalamus. We cannot measure the hormones the hypothalamus produces, so we don’t deal with it.

Yet the hypothalamus plays a vital role in the orchestration of the symphony of hormones. Hormones directly control the DNA and most dis-ease is a result of hormonal miscommunication.

When Hormones Sing, DNA Dances.

The hypothalamus orchestrates our entire system. Feed the hypothalamus and harmonize the symphony of hormones so the dance of the DNA expresses health and vitality.

What could I feed the body to tap into the genetic potential for health and wellbeing? After much research and soul searching, I surrendered and in my dreams a formula was revealed…

The first seven nights I awoke each morning from my dreams and wrote what I remembered—sets of seven amino acids. Each corresponding to the hypothalamic control of the endocrine glands. Seven times seven.

After following my intuition and paying close attention to my dreams. I began clinical studies. I believe what we intend becomes. So I mixed the plant based amino acids with the intention to heal the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body— Sacred Seven®.

Like any scientist, I was my own guinea pig…

I took the Sacred Seven® along with my patients in the first pilot study. But first I took myself off bio-identical hormone replacement therapy I had been using to treat runner’s amenorrhea. I also stopped all other supplementation.

Within two months, I had my first normal menstrual cycle in over 20 years. I also craved meat…which was disturbing since I had been a vegetarian for seven years. But I had decided to “listen” to my body like I instructed my patients…so I ate meat. And felt great! In fact, my mild anemia cleared up. Then I began craving orange vegetables—pumpkins, yams, butternut squash. So I ate them too and did not suffer from the winter blues. Interesting.

Granted I had put on five pounds, my overweight patients do not gain, but most lose the extra body fat. I apparently needed to gain…the same amount of weight I gained each time I conceived. In spite of my gynecologist’s warning that with such low body fat, I was probably infertile, my two children came to me in dreams (like Genesis Gold®), so I let my body take over AND it gained five pounds AND I conceived.

Not since my pregnancies had I been so attuned to my body. It was like my DNA was talking…loudly…telling me what to eat, when to rest, and how much to exercise. Sacred Seven® amino acids changed my life. I slept well for the first time…having suffered somnambulance—sleep walking nearly every night for 18 years was exhausting.

Yet I could no longer exercise. Now I usually instruct my patients on regular exercise. But I was fanatic. I only had 12% body fat, I had been running competitively since high school and had competed as a triathlete for seven years before conceiving Sacred Seven® and Genesis Gold®. Almost as soon as I began the Sacred Seven® amino acids, I could not even think about running without my Achilles tendon aching horribly. So I walked. I learned to dance. I rode my horse. And when my body said it was ok to run, I enjoyed the scenery for the first time ever.

Once I found an organic manufacturer for Genesis Gold®, I switched my alliance. I am better supported with the full formula, no more outrageous cravings to fill in my nutritional deficits. And I eat well. We grow most of our own fruits and vegetables and buy organic, but even I cannot gather all the nutrients necessary to support my body, mind, and soul in our modern world. So now with Genesis Gold®, I can eat anything I desire and I feel great.

Over the past thirteen years, I have maintained that crucial five pounds, no more, no less, without obsessive exercise. And I’m now going through menopause at 54, although my three younger sisters have been menopausal for the past eight years—a testament to how stress robs you of your hormonal competence without the hypothalamic support of Genesis Gold®.

So why do I still take Sacred Seven®? Because as a healer dealing with the Hormonally Challenged, I need extra hypothalamic and genetic support to maintain optimal health. Although Sacred Seven® is in Genesis Gold®, the extra amino acids also helps me maintain my creative energies…to help you, my patients, my colleagues and myself heal…body, mind and soul.

May Your DNA Dance Health!

Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP-BC
copyright 2015 DMaragopoulos

Please contact author at deborah@lovedance.com for permission to reprint this article.

Finding the Divine in our Relationships

We reconnect to the Divine through relationships. Intimate relationships like that between a parent and a child becomes a transformative portal to enlightenment. Share Yeshua’s joy in becoming a father as you read his heartfelt letter to newborn Sarah:

Welcome, precious Sarah, to the world.

On the eve of the new moon of Sivan, like unto the dark void
which births the light, you came. Your emergence from your
mother’s womb marked my delivery into divine humanness, my
prayers answered when you received sacred breath from my mouth.
Now as you suckle at her breast, I am awash with gratitude for
my life. Your bronze skin kissed by the eternal glow of your
hayye, like your Ima, dark and most beautiful to me. Sarah, you
are perfect in body and soul. May your mind gain wisdom with
your time on this precious earth. May your soul connect intimately
to Eloha while your body grows strong and lovely. As your Ima
kisses your dimpled cheek, my desire to merge with your spirit is
profound. May your joy be complete in your human form, precious
daughter of mine.
My eternal love and devotion,

Abba

on page 70 of LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter.

May you find your truth through your very human relationships.
Many Blessings,

Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP

Intuitive Integrative Health

The Seven Layers of Soul Lessons

Doesn’t it seem like we keep replaying the old scenes? Just as we think we have conquered an issue, it raises its ugly head to torment us again. Why is that?

Well, I believe we revisit our problems (or they revisit us) in order to deepen our perception. We seem to learn our soul lessons in layers. And it corresponds to how energy runs through our bodies—to the chakras, which correspond to those biochemical messengers called hormones. Everything’s connected. Body, mind and soul. Your lessons may manifest outside of you or within. As relationship issues or dis-ease. Both really originate from within you. Which means you can heal them.

You relive the situation over and over to better understand it and to heal yourself from the most basic level to the highest perspective. It’s like taking math classes. We don’t usually start with calculus. We begin learning math by counting, then adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, working our way from basic math, to algebra, geometry, math analysis and finally calculus. We learn in layers.

Whenever my patients need a reminder of why they are revisiting challenging issues, I give them this short handout.

1) Red Layer: represents first chakra. It’s all about survival. We struggle to make our way through tough life lessons. Most of humanity barely survives life’s lessons. Not yet searching for meaning, those of us who do make it celebrate our survival from dis-ease, loss, trauma, etc. It’s as if we fought a war and won. We honor survivors. If they can do it, then so can we.

2) Orange Layer: represents second chakra. It’s all about gathering the sweetness of the lesson and trying to move on. We look for meaning in the lesson—what we learned. We love the “enlightened sayings” of those who appreciate the sweetness of life. It makes us feel good to share our hard earned wisdom, to read about or watch others’ stories that seem to end happily. It gives us hope. Receiving the blessing of the lesson is where forgiveness begins.

3) Yellow Layer: represents third chakra. It’s all about balancing will and emotion. Although this is a deeper layer, it feels less than. You thought you learned your lesson and here it is like a bad rerun rearing its ugly head. You know you should feel better about the lesson, but fear creeps in as it repeats itself again and you try to will it away, move on, not stoop to just surviving as you did in the beginning. You try to count your blessings but the sweetness has bittered. Time to release your fear. This is the place most of us get stuck. This is what wears us out, when our adrenals crash, our health fails, we age, we wish to die.

4) Green Layer: represents the fourth chakra. It’s all about compassion…for self! Here we learn to love ourselves. There is an energy of gratitude for our humanness. This is the deepest level of forgiveness when we can be grateful for the players in the drama of our lives. Those who seem most enlightened exist here. They express compassion to others for they have learned self compassion. The beloved teachers and gurus have shown us how to be human and live in the heart. But more lessons are to come…

5) Blue Layer: represents the fifth chakra. It’s all about truth. Your truth. Fully digesting the lesson and expressing the divine truth of the lesson in your life’s work. You have grown tremendously from the first time you faced this lesson. When it repeats itself, you are able to graciously receive it and name its truth. Being embodied on earth gifts us with soul baring opportunities to know our selves intimately. This is when the teachers are quoted and become immortalized.

6) Indigo Layer: represents the sixth chakra. It’s all about insight. You now have deep insight into the lesson as your relive it a sixth time. Quickly you survive, receive the sweetness, release the fear, feel compassion for yourself, express the truth of the lesson and become the gnosis….the experiential divine. You need not speak your truth to BE your truth. You exist in harmony with all life, following spirit deeply into this lesson without struggle. Yet one more time you will revisit the lesson in this life or another or perhaps beyond the human existence…one more time…

7) Violet Layer: represents the seventh chakra. It’s all about multidimensional connection. This is where Heaven meets Earth in you. You now have the Divine perspective. You understand the purpose of your humanity. You appreciate your emotions as vehicles to higher, deeper manifestations of Love. You are truly enlightened in regards to this lesson. Finally you are free…

Time for another sacred lesson!

These lessons are passionately portrayed in my novel LoveDance

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