divine daughter

14. FOUR FACES OF THE ONE

As I waited for Genesis Gold® to be manufactured I sat down to write my opus—Hormones in Harmony®—what I was known for, all my healing secrets. Yet it wasn’t coming easily. In spite of all the case studies and stories, I could not seem to get it down. And I am a prolific writer. I have a whole cedar chest filled with my handwritten journals, poetry, short stories, novelettes…yet what I do best was not coming…

2-1-03 Finally I sat in meditation, awakening early by the light of the day while my animal charges continued to slumber. Upon my couch I sat still and quiet and within moments and lasting what seemed an eternity I was visited. The Father, the Mother, the Son and the Daughter came unto me. I envisioned their form through closed eyes, yet felt them intimately interacting with my physical being, touching my aura within and without.

The Father held the space balancing the energy confirming the wisdom of the Mother and Son. The Daughter was beautiful to behold and when I asked who she was I was told Shekhina and I saw that she was a huge version of Me! Full voluptuous body, moving gracefully through space and time, glowing with a golden love light dancing sensuously to the vibration of the moment. She had my face, my hair, my eyes, she was me lovely to behold.

The Mother gave me her wisdom through counsel and vibration. When I asked what I was to do, she said I had done enough that all was progressing as it should, that Genesis Gold® would come in its own time as divinely planned. I was to write, only write. I asked which books to begin with and she said there is one book, all the stories are part of the one. My story, all of it. Not Hormones in Harmony® separately, but inclusive as is my understanding. The Son concurred stating that unlike Christ my true story would come out while I was still alive and the work would unfold from the telling of it.

I was told that I was to use my gift in energy healing to minister to a patient- Eddie- whose cancer was based in his fear, that I would be guided as to what physical support systems he would need and that yes, Genesis Gold® was necessary, but would come too late. I know that people come into my life for a purpose, some to stay and some for just fractions of eternity. All part of the web of love connected with the white gold filaments of alchemized truth.

The Mother guided me to understand that like a teenage girl, I needed many mirrors to assure myself of my truth and confirm what I perceived as blemishes, as imperfections. Those I call my mentors have been these mirrors for me. They guide me with such finesse, because I am witnessing myself. It is my connectedness that makes their counsel, their channeling, their energy healing so profound. It is me.

Excerpt from My LoveDance. Available on Amazon

13. THE RED CORD

Writing my novel helped me heal the Mother Wound…the original separation from the Divine Mother…as my heroine Mary Magdalen awakened to her truth as the Divine Daughter…so did I…and in doing so received the fullness of the Divine Mother.

I reconnected to Her…embodied in the Earth…enlivened in the hearts of so many women here in Ojai…mothers and grandmothers who receive me…as if I am the Divine Daughter…and I feel it. I see the Divine Daughter energy in so many others…women young and old and even a few precious men.

Nearly three years after LoveDance® was launched, I found myself facing another wound…the Father Wound—separation from the Divine Father. Yes, I had begun Book II… LoveDance® is a trilogy…and I began the second book shortly after the first was launched…I got 1/3 through the writing…and just as my heroine Mary Magdalen confronts her father wound…I could write no more!

Why? Because until I face it, live it, breathe it, am I able to write it. What I wrote in the first book became manifest for me. I did not realize the depth of the mother wound I embodied, imprinted since prenatal time, brought into this lifetime as deep karmic imprints. I had done a regression on myself many years before. Way before LoveDance® …two years before I dreamt I was Mary Magdalen walking down the streets of Nazareth, I brought myself back to the womb…Disentangled myself from maternal karmic imprints… from the Red Cord…

Looking down between my fetal thighs, I was surprised to see NO penis! No blade! How could I accomplish my mission in this form? I felt a pulsation deep in my belly, putrid fearful, coming not from me, but through the umbilical cord—the Red Cord.

It was my mother’s fear. I felt her. Her world as she perceived it…the struggle with her parents, her new husband, her fear…her fear of her mother, then…

I was in my grandmother’s womb feeling her fear through the red cord. And then in her mother’s womb feeling her mother’s fear and her mother’s and back and back in time. Like a video montage, yet I could feel the fear…yellow and acidic as bile…the pain, tears, terror…of losing children, abortions, stillborn babies. Of being raped, used as chattel, traded like beasts. Of husbands, and fathers and lovers beating us, blaming us. Of too many babies, of hunger and pain, of sending our sons off to war and our daughters into the same traps we found ourselves. Of burning at the stake, of drowning, of torture for being our truth. Of giving away our power.

Through my mother’s womb, through hers, and unto the beginning of time. Back to Eve. All of women’s woes…that was my fear. The fear I had been purging forever.
Time to release it.

I awoke with a clear intention and pure desire to release my mothers’ fear, all of my mothers.

In synchronicity that same day, I had an appointment with an energy healer. She was working with another powerful male healer. He stood at my feet, she at my head. I didn’t tell them of my vision, but lay there fully intending to release. And I did. Like a volcanic eruption of black tar, the energy exploded from my belly into the atmosphere. I felt lighter and freer than ever. I opened my eyes laughing and sat up.

The two healers were plastered against the walls of the healing room. “What was THAT?”

“That was fear! And it’s not mine!”

Then I headed to the beach, and lay on the sand, my feet in the water, the sun on my naked skin and was held by the Great Mother. My Divine Mother loves me…I am everything she ever desired in a daughter. I no longer need to purge the fear of my sex.

Excerpt from My LoveDance. Available on Amazon

Let’s celebrate Mary Magdalen’s Feast Day

Since writing LoveDance in 2003, I have celebrated Mary Magdalen’s feast day. Usually I honor the Magdalen in quiet ceremony, but in the summer of 2013, we took a family trip to Europe to celebrate our kids’ college graduation and our 30th anniversary.

On July 22nd, we happened to be on the Amalfi Coast in Italy. After a long day of visiting Pompei, we were having dinner in an open air restaurant in Minori. My son asked what I planned to do for Mary Magdalen’s Feast Day. I replied, “I spent the day with my beautiful family.”

Then the owner of the restaurant served us espresso and suggested we walk to Atrani for the “Parade of Roses” at midnight. A parade at midnight? I asked, “Is this in honor of Mary Magdalen?”

“Yes, the Magdalena! You will love it.” He smiled at me.

So we walked twenty minutes up the winding narrow Amalfi Coast highway to join thousands of people on the great seawall of Atrani. The Italians were laughing and singing and kissing each other, very excited for the parade to begin. The streets were so narrow and packed with people, no room for a parade. Then the churchbells rang and everyone turned to look out over the seawall at the peaceful harbor.

At the stroke of midnight, the biggest, most grand fireworks display began over the harbor! It lasted a good 45 minutes and ended in fireworks that landed on the water in the shape of red roses! The symbol of the Magdalen! The churchbells tolled for a half hour as we joined thousands of people dancing down the streets back home. The Italians honor the Magdalena with flair!

 

In the book, Mary Magdalen Unveils HerStory
In the video, I unveil the secret to living in sacred relationship with your partner, children, family, even the Earth.

 

“Love is eternal and since each of us is Love, then we are also eternal. Not the body.” Yeshua pats his chest. “No, the body will die. But who I am as Love can never die. I have always been Love and so have you.”
LOVEDANCE –AWAKENING THE DIVINE DAUGHTER, Page 309

Click Here to get your LoveDance today!

May You Live Your LoveDance,

Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP-BC
author, speaker, healer

Why LoveDance?

I meant to write a healing book, you know the kind, a self-help manual based on my expertise… Everyone has a story: why they do what they do, how they became who they are in the world. And I have mine.

In 1984, I gave birth to a premature baby who stumped expert endocrinologists with numerous hormonal challenges. Defying medical advice, I orchestrated the care of my firstborn by learning everything I could about how hormones affect developmental behavior. My intuition proved correct—our healthy son is now a beloved teacher. In spite of my traditional training as a nurse practitioner, what I learned as a patient and a parent sparked an expertise in holistic neuro-immune-endocrinology, the interface, I believe, between the bio-physical and the psycho-spiritual being.

Through my own bio-psycho-spiritual journey, I evolved into an intuitive healer capable of honing in on the biochemical interconnections of human physiology and relating them to symbolic imbalances as lessons on a patient’s soul path. Spiritual gurus, psychological geniuses, and fully grounded but very ill patients from around the world presented themselves to gain insight on the wellbeing of their physical forms. Yet, I learned the most from the children.

In 1988, my daughter was born beautifully whole and much more work than my premature son. Although developmentally advanced, speaking by six months and reading at three, he struggled in his body, while she delighted in her humanness. Forcing us all to stay awake, she candidly shared her interdimensional experiences, in constant communication with my dead grandmother, so connected to her father that at any distance she knew what he was feeling, claiming with innocent assurance that they had been father and daughter in a past life, and like I did as a child, could lay her hands on someone and “know” what ailed them.

Meanwhile, my son struggled in school and at eight, asked to see a “brain doctor.” The psychologist insisted that with his intense brilliance, he could not have attention deficit disorder, but my son insisted on being tested with the “video game.” The psychologist was floored. How could a child know about the newly developed computer program used to differentiate learning disabilities? I just shrugged; his uncanny knowingness was part of our life. When my son agreed to submit to traditional therapeutics, “only, Mommy, if I do not lose my dreams,” again, I was challenged to find a natural solution to his dilemma. Of course, the universe presented lots of opportunities for growth as pediatric patients were brought to me by their parents.

After much research, I began treating my autistic and learning disabled patients nutritionally. While gladly mixing the “brew,” squeezing oil from capsules, carefully measuring powders, their parents asked me to create something easier. So by 1998, and after many exhaustive but futile attempts at finding the nutritional connection between genetics and the hypothalamic orchestration of the neuro-immune-endocrine system, I surrendered to the advice of my children and prayed.

Every night for three months, I had the same dream in which my most hormonally challenged patients came to drink from a chalice I held. We never spoke, but intuitively I knew they were better. I awoke every morning asking what was the golden liquid in the cup. The first answer came as seven letters, I thought were Hebrew, but later found were Aramaic. Amazingly they translated into the same single letter denotations used for the seven amino acids I had been studying related to the hypothalamus.

And that’s how my nutraceutical formula, Genesis Gold®, was born. Under its influence, I began to write about my journey, but it would be another five years before I realized the significance of initially receiving the formula in Aramaic. All through my years of healing, friends, family, colleagues, and most enthusiastically, patients encouraged me to write. They appreciated my unique take on healing, how I married eastern and western philosophies into successful therapeutics, how I seemed to know just what was out of balance to restore wellbeing, and how passionately I shared anecdotal stories from my life as a healer, wife, mother, sister, daughter. So in the summer of 2003, I began to write the book I had promised my patients.

But it didn’t go as planned. I had no idea how to put it together, no muse, no nothing, until September 15th…

I had a dream. I was walking down the dusty streets of Nazareth, fine linen flapping about my legs, my sandals gathering debris, as I hurried along anxious to meet my friend. Then I was there, in a humble courtyard, looking into the eyes of a boy I knew very well. In the dream, I was fourteen-year-old Mary, the soon to be bride of Yeshua.

Once the opening chapter was recorded, the muse did not leave my side day or night for eight months. I didn’t know why Mary’s story came to me. I wasn’t religious, nor particularly interested in history, but I was compelled to record the voice of the woman history had forgotten. I lived and breathed nearly every aspect of her story while typing like mad.

Here was a muse I couldn’t deny. Never once did I suffer writer’s block, but it wasn’t easy to humanize the man deified by so many in the eyes of the woman the world believed was far from his wife. Yet how could I deny the intimate details that came in dreams and visions, some even…in Aramaic!

My poor husband, always supportive, feared for my wellbeing, but as my son put it: he could believe my experience was the product of an unstable mind or he could believe in my inter-dimensional connections, deepen our relationship, and thus gain spiritually himself. Fortunately, my husband chose the latter.

I struggled to write Mary and Yeshua’s journey to Qumran for what I saw was so very different than what the scholars of the Dead Sea scrolls believed, so I called my dear rabbi friend. She advised that I forget two thousand years of what I was taught to believe was history as interpreted by modern Victorian Christendom and just “be Mary.” Six months later, she called to inform me that Israeli archeologists had just discovered evidence of what I wrote. I ceased denying why this story came to me and just relaxed to birth it into the world.

Being Mary changed my life. By embodying the energy of the divine daughter, recognizing her in others, and reaping the benefits, I became my truth. I’ve always been a cup-half-full kind of person, sensually oriented and passionate, probably from my hot-blooded Italian family, but somehow through writing this book, life became even more joyful. I chose the first person present tense narrative because that’s how it felt to me. The synchronicities between writing her story and my own have been amazing—as I wrote, it would become manifest in my life.

As Mary progressed in her awakening, so did I.

I opened to admitting to my patients that, yes, in spite of my scientific training, I intuitively diagnosed and treated them. Appreciating my honesty, they began challenging me to further my healing gifts, especially encouraging me to divulge the lessons from the book. Family, friends, and even patients clamored to share in the experience, so I released chapters of the first draft for feedback. It should have been no surprise that my readers had transformational experiences, but I was in awe because that’s what happened to me.

I always believed in the profound potential within each of us. That’s how I believe healing occurs. It’s already encoded; we just have to tap in to the potential for it to become manifest.

My understanding of human consciousness is an evolution of the Mother-Father-Son-Daughter aspects of the Divine. Originally, I believe, humans worshiped the earth as the Divine Mother, her body was ours. Then we looked into the cosmos and envisioned the Divine Father as spirit. In the last two millennia, avatars teaching in parables initiated a revolution of the mind, and ever since the Divine Son has been the center of religious worship.

Now the time is ripe for the Divine Daughter to manifest in human consciousness. She is emotion weaving the mind, body, and soul into Sacred Unity with All That Is.

I believe Mary Magdalen was the original embodiment of the Divine Daughter achieving Sacred Union with Yeshua, the embodiment of the Divine Son.

Although lost in history due to the fear-based struggle between politics and religion, her story is fortunately being remembered. I am blessed to present my rendition of Mary’s awakening to you. Writing from her perspective helped me remember who I am and why I’m here. Sharing in her journey may help you gain a remembrance of your truth.

As it turns out, I did write a healing book. Everything I wished to teach—the bio-psycho-spiritual healing lessons—are in LoveDance. In story form, the way a beloved avatar taught some two thousand years ago.

The Father and I are One

Since the beginning of the year, the 11th of each month has felt…well, different. After the Japanese earthquake, I was sure I wasn’t the only one feeling the 11th. So I googled it and found the 11th of each month described as vibrational portals leading to 11-11-11. On 4-11-11, I felt compelled to hold ceremony so I called up Grandmother Kathy and took her to the beach. In sacred ceremony we gifted the ocean with the intention of healing the earth. I felt this intense energy coming from the sun…no actually through the sun and recognized the galactic center blessing us. On the wet low tide sands, I danced the sacred union of Father Sun and Mother Earth…what an amazing experience!

Lately, I keep seeing multiples of 11 every time I look at the clock (11, 22, 33, 44). I looked up the significance of these master numbers and calculated my numerology number by birth date and it is 22…but still this doesn’t settle my soul…something more is up.

On Monday, in spite of having accomplished everything I need before our vacation commenced, I awoke with a vague melancholy. Then I realized the date…7-11-11…and felt compelled to hold ceremony again…but what? Trusting all would be well I opened my journal in hopes of inspiration and…. it came to me…

…These portals are DNA activations! In alignment with the chakra’s…the first three were not as noticeable to me (I can only guess that these layers are well activated by Genesis Gold), the fourth felt like a celebration of the heart chakra…Love… the fifth and sixth were subtle, yet this seventh was in alignment with work I’ve been doing regarding the Pineal gland. And I have always known the crown chakra to be a connection to the heavens, the multi-dimensional universe. Perhaps why we bow our head in prayer, exposing our crowns to the mouth of God.

At the same time, healing the split with the Divine Masculine has come up in my women’s circle. I began this work exactly a year ago, composing and publishing two articles regarding the Divine Masculine before I was hit with Death…there my focus lie for months through the Karmic Imprint retreat and well after as I released all that no longer served my soul.

I have taken steps to heal my relationship with my own father and while it’s going well, still the Divine Masculine is up again…wanting to be healed in my soul, in the collective feminine, in the world…

I spent my early days as the divine child…androgynous in my being…then embodied the divine son energy using my mind to make my mark in the world, emerging ever so cautiously as the divine daughter…first as lover, then wife, then mother, then peace, oh blessed peace with my sacred femininity as I consumed the bounty of the Earth Mother in Genesis Gold. Then I wrote my experience in LoveDance…the Divine Daughter well rooted in me…that was 8 years ago…over the past year and a half, struggling to compose book two of the LoveDance series, I have been excavating the father wound…naming it, writing it, praying about it, then acting upon it. Knowing that this year, 2011—the year I celebrate my 50th birthday—the time is finally ripe to become whole.

During a guided meditation in my women’s circle, I saw an image of my higher self. And felt compelled to create Her into form. I took my joy to my Q&A journal where I converse with my higher self and she assured me that my hands would “remember” how to form clay. And they did…

Ascencion

This sculpture that I created under the midwifery of Grandmother Kathy—I call Her, Ascencion—is my Higher Self formed from clay. Not only feminine, but in sacred union with the masculine. That is who I am now. She is who I’ve become in my 50 years on earth. Finally balanced.

When it was time to bring Her home after months of work, I was feeling trepidation. Excitement, yet trepidation too. Then I was cast back to 1984, driving to UCLA to pick up Jarys from the NICU…my life forever changed then…and now it would be changed again.

Since bringing Ascencion home, my life has changed. My relationship has deepened even more with my beloved husband. My relationship with my mother has become more refined. I have truly released my son and he is blossoming. My daughter grows in leaps and bounds and no longer am I entangled with her. My relationship with my sisters is blooming…no drama at the last family gathering. And being with my father was joyous….Thank God!

After witnessing the heartfelt struggle with patriarchy from the women in my circle, I took my heavy heart to my beloved husband who shone some divine masculine light of wisdom upon me. Then I sat in counsel with my higher self, consulted with wise women and wondered when this Father Wound would be finally healed. For Blossoming Spirit—the theme of our upcoming retreat—to emerge at the fall equinox, balance must be reached.

Before we met for our first planning meeting, crow left me a feather…I was bringer of the Triple Goddess Tarot Cards from which our women’s circle would choose. I had tied the triple goddess colors of white, red, and black around the crow feather and the eldest “crone” of our circle used the feather to divine the card. Blossoming Spirit was chosen—card number 5, the hierophant—with a strong rejuvenation theme. Just what I dreamt for our next retreat.

For three weeks, I asked crow for another feather having given up the beautiful one to the circle. And only after I abandoned the search and went on a carefree run with Charlie in the meadow to find a black and white feather…balance…only then did crow grace me with a pure black feather under the orange tree—where I pick sunshine to consume every morning before greeting my animals and old man crow!

So on 7-11-11 at 11:11 dressed in violets, I lay under my oak tree to meditate.

And for the first time since I was a child, I felt the presence of Father God. He spoke to me. Explaining that it took this long for me to bond well with the Divine Mother, to discover my truth and transform from human doing to human being…to live as the embodiment of the Divine Daughter and encompass Divine Mother energy into my life with deep honoring of the Divine Grandmother.

He showed me how easily I partnered with the Divine Masculine in Steve and received it in other men. How bravely I tried to heal my relationship with my father …yet still I searched for guidance from the Divine Father.

In answer to my heart prayers of healing the father wound, He came.

And showed me, me as light! A juicy brilliant orange-red began the light show and I felt filled from root to belly…hormonally rejuvenated. Then lime green darkening to peridot as the light rose from solar plexus to heart. The greens deepened to a glorious teal, fluid and dancing with lovely lilac in the center…my heart filled. Then my throat alighted in clear blue, brilliant as the sky and here where I hold trepidation, finally healed by the blue light of truth. Then my head filled with violet, not purple of my youth, but a deep violet that circled around to red and became fuchsia. My new auric color! He showed me that I’ve come full circle and begin again at 50.

The communication was long and deep. For I saw my own DNA dancing. Not the double helix formation but a spiraling spherical star of DNA, many layers deep, no, not layers, He said, not stacked but intertwined, and I looked deeper and saw brilliant strands dancing figure eights of infinity, meeting in the center of the star sphere, some switching partners, some dancing in triplets…Seven lit up brilliantly…four more dancing in the shadows, and the last yet to be enlightened.

All the while Father God spoke to me. He explained how he watched over me all this time through the eyes of crow. My deep connection to this magical black bird that so many fear…it was serving My Father. The one I turned away from so long ago.

No judgment, no sorrow during this glorious reunion with My Father. Only light and love. Exactly what I ask for every time I feel fear. That my fear be lifted and I be filled with light and love. And now I know it has been Him…answering my prayers.

Oh, I am still very much one with My Mother. She flows through me….and I felt Her great Joy as I received Him. She held me in her arms as She presented me, Her Divine Daughter, to My Father. I am so blessed.

I arose at 11:55, 44 minutes in divine communication. I am profoundly affected…the light was so healing…I know now what Yeshua meant by My Father and I are One.

THE DIVINE DAUGHTER’S BACK!

I envisioned this blog to be one of Remembrance. Remembering the Divine Daughter—Mary Magdalen, the original Divine Daughter and the heroine of my book—LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter—Yet now two years after the last post…I find myself needing to unveil…again… 

LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter helped me heal the Mother Wound…the original separation from the Divine Mother…as my heroine Mary Magdalen awakened to her truth as the Divine Daughter…so did I…and in doing so received the fullness of the Divine Mother. I reconnected to Her…embodied in the Earth…enlivened in the hearts of so many women here in Ojai…mothers and grandmothers who receive me…as if I am the Divine Daughter…and I feel it. I see the Divine Daughter energy in so many others…women young and old and even a few precious men… Time to feel the fullness of our emotions and allow the Divine Daughter to dance us into wholeness. 

Here’s what I wrote in the book, “My understanding of human consciousness is an evolution of the Mother-Father-Son-Daughter aspects of the Divine. Originally, I believe, humans worshipped the earth as the Divine Mother, her body was ours. Then we looked into the cosmos and envisioned the Divine Father as spirit. In the last two millennia, avatars teaching in parables initiated a revolution of the mind, and ever since the Divine Son has been the center of religious worship. Now the time is ripe for the Divine Daughter to manifest in human consciousness. She is emotion weaving the mind, body, and soul into Sacred Unity with All That Is.” 

The Divine Daughter is alive and well…Awakened now through LoveDance. On the Earth at this time—dancing her dance—her dance of love—LoveDance. 

LoveDance became my philosophy of life. I created a whole website around it. LoveDance is my expression of Self. Love is at the center of the triad of Relationships, Soul Purpose, and Health. I include Health because as a Holistic Nurse Practitioner, Health of Body, Mind, and Soul is paramount in the Process of Enlightenment. It is not enough for me to talk…but to walk my talk…or rather…to dance my truth! 

So now in the midst of this summer of profound transformation, nearly three years after LoveDance was launched, I find myself facing another wound…the Father Wound—separation from the Divine Father. Yes, I have begun Book II…LoveDance is a trilogy…and I began the second book shortly after the first was launched…and I got 1/3 through the writing…just as my heroine Mary Magdalen confronts her father wound…I could write no more! 

Why? Because until I face it, live it, breathe it, am I able to write it. What I wrote in book one became manifest for me. I did not realize the depth of the mother wound I embodied, imprinted since prenatal time, brought into this lifetime as deep karmic imprints. I had done a regression on myself many years before. Way before LoveDance…In fact two years before I dreamt I was Mary Magdalen walking down the streets of Nazareth I brought myself back to the womb…Disentangled myself from maternal karmic imprints… from the Red Cord… 

I shared this story with the Grandmothers Council of Ojai on Mother’s Day. I was an hour late for the gathering, having driven back from a mother-daughter-grandmother weekend in San Diego. It was lovely to spend time with my daughter who was born on Mother’s day 22 years ago. My mother enjoyed herself too, but on the way home her issues with her mother surfaced… there was not much to say…so I just listened…and then dropped her off at her house some 70 miles from Ojai and headed home. I needed to be with the grandmothers. But they too were reliving their mother wounds! So I told them this story: 

THE RED CORD

Years ago, before my daughter entered puberty, I vowed to get a hold of my eating disorder. If you are a fan of this blog, you know all about it, if not…here goes… 

I was anorexic before Karen Carpenter died and the psychiatrists had named it. I was hypnotized, medicated, and psychoanalyzed. To no avail. Anorexia transformed into bulimia. Not the typical eating disorder because I did not fit their psycho-patterns. No, I had not been molested, no incest, only a father’s great expectations passed onto me of being perfect. Yes, I was the straight A student…and did great things with my life, but there was more. 

Recently eating disorder research has led from blaming the father to blaming the mother. 

Still, I had an excellent relationship with my mother. Had learned from her mistakes. And felt loved, adored by her and my father. My grandparents too, especially my grandmother. No, it wasn’t a parenting problem rooted in childhood. It was something deeper. 

I had begun research on the hypothalamus which led to my dream of Genesis Gold and had been taking the Sacred Seven amino acids for a year when I felt it was time to get to the root of my problem. 

Bulimia was a coping mechanism for me. And while I could stuff my anxieties down with food then purge them into the toilet and flush them away, many, many times, my fear was not my own. How many times had I felt driven to binge just to purge a fear that was greater than me. So what was this fear, I asked. 

I will tell you…it’s not the father, it is the mother…but it’s not about blame. It’s not what you think. 

In a dream, I regressed myself. 

Into the womb, I went. Looking down between my fetal thighs, I was surprised to see NO penis! No blade! How could I accomplish my mission in this form? I felt a pulsation deep in my belly, putrid fearful, coming not from me, but through the umbilical cord—the Red Cord. 

It was my mother’s fear. I felt her. Her world as she perceived it….the struggle with her parents, her new husband, her fear…her fear of her mother, then… 

I was in my grandmother’s womb feeling her fear through the red cord. And then in her mother’s womb feeling her mother’s fear and her mother’s and back and back in time. Like a video montage, yet I could feel the fear…yellow and acidic as bile….the pain, tears, terror…of losing children, abortions, stillborn babies. Of being raped, used as chattel, traded like beasts. Of husbands, and fathers and lovers beating us, blaming us. Of too many babies, of hunger and pain, of sending our sons off to war and our daughters into the same traps we found ourselves. Of burning at the stake, of drowning, of torture for being our truth. Of giving away our power. 

Through my mother’s womb, through hers, and unto the beginning of time. Back to Eve. All of women’s woes…that was my fear. The fear I had been purging forever. 

Time to release it. I awakened with a clear intention and pure desire to release my mothers’ fear, all of my mothers. 

Synchronistically that day, I had an appointment with an energy healer. She was working with another powerful male healer. He stood at my feet, she at my head. I didn’t tell them of my vision, but lay there fully intending to release. And I did. Like a volcanic eruption of black tar, the energy exploded from my belly into the atmosphere. I felt lighter and freer than ever. I opened my eyes and laughed. I sat up. The two healers were plastered against the walls of the healing room. “What was THAT?” 

“That was fear!”  And it’s not mine! 

Then I headed to the beach, and lay on the sand, my feet in the water, the sun on my naked skin and was held by the Great Mother. My Divine Mother loves me…I am everything she ever desired in a daughter. I no longer need to purge the fear of my sex.

 

So here we are back from the summer of 2001 to now—2010. A summer of great transformation lies before us. Today is truly the first day that it feels like summer here in Ojai. Finally hot…it’s been so mild…perhaps now we can burn the illusion away and unveil the truth. My neck aches from all this typing, but purging on paper (or rather, online) is a sweet means to a sweeter end. Yet my aching neck reminds me that it’s time to heal the Father Wound.

23 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Women Scorned

May 12th, 2004 Last night I had a dream, thankfully observed from afar, of Cephas badly abusing Mary then handing her back to Teoma like a ragdoll. I awoke to Steve drawing me close. Yeshua emerged from within, both in the dream and awake. Mary embodied all women held at fault by men who judged them as temptresses, abused and rejected them. Women and their children suffering for two thousand years because the sacred feminine was hidden away. Cephas represents those men without the courage to be their truth, Teoma represents those men who seek to save the vulnerable. Although some may think this is a Christian overlay, I recognize that in most cultures men hate women for relinquishing their feminine power. 

Beginning the research process, I found much support for what I had written, yet uncovered much sadness regarding the treatment of women. Perhaps if Mary’s story had been received at its inception, the world would have been kinder and more compassionate to women and children. If both men and women would open to receive the sacred feminine, she would be revered not abused.

In this life, I have been fortunate to be well treated by men. My father was gentle. My grandfather showed me only unconditional love. My first boyfriend treated me with such reverence, I married him. Unlike most of my female colleagues who struggle to find support in the masculine world of medicine, my collaborating physician is my knight in shining armor.  

 As I awaken to the Divine Daughter energies I see that the world reflects back to me what I believe about myself. And I believe I am beautiful, wise, witty, strong, and safe. So men trip over themselves to open doors for me. While perfectly capable, I allow them to assist me and graciously thank them, knowing that every opportunity for the divine masculine to recognize the sacred feminine is healing for us all.

Author Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP Wins Best Spiritual Fiction Book in Reader Views 2007 Annual Literary Awards

“LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter” was selected as the best Spiritual Fiction Book of 2007 by Reader Views Annual Literary Awards. Reader Views Annual Literary Awards were established to honor writers who self-published or had their books published by a small press, university press, or independent book publisher.

 

“Reader Views reviews more than 2,000 books per year from budding authors who have worked hard to achieve their dream of being published,” Reader Views Managing Editor Irene Watson says. “Our Annual Literary Awards recognize the very best of these up-and-coming authors, all talented writers who we know have very promising writing careers ahead of them.”

 

The Reader Views Annual Literary Awards are granted in 20 fiction and 30 nonfiction categories, as well as 15 specialized, sponsored categories. The entries are judged by Reader Views reviewers, all avid readers with a wide range of experiences, considered experts in the respective fields.

  About LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter is an intimate unveiling of Mary Magdalen as a woman awakening to her sacred feminine power. LoveDance reveals the grace and the beauty of the times as well as the passion and the sorrow. Mary’s awakening will touch your heart and heal your soul.  

Celebrity actress Kathryn Ross described LoveDance as “a lovely and timely book… Mary’s story is a parable for all of us. It’s time to get back in balance. Amazing that even 2000 plus years ago we were swayed or coerced into certain beliefs by politics and male dominated religion. Not too different from the present.”

 History was written by men. LoveDance is HERstory. LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter may be purchased at www.lovedance.com 

5 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Back to my Roots

Sept 25th, 2003 Off to Italy! As I begin my ninth day in connection to all that I know to be true, we embark on a trip of self discovery. I am nearly ready to write Mary’s continued saga and spoke of this wondrous event to my rabbi friend who is excited to help recreate the story with a real Hebrew flare. The story of the goddess as the daughter energy returns to the earth, I am delivering myself as she. Time to follow spirit on this trip of few accommodations and no itinerary. I can hear my rabbi friend’s message to not forget to be fully present with Steve on this trip as I remember who I am now and then. There is no time. My writing is in pieces, but I have to trust the process. It now makes sense. With my fear is dissolved, there is only love, love is the co-creator. Through love we manifest abundance. My relationships on this earth are becoming clearer now. 

Sept 25th, 2003 3am in Rome, I am awakened from a dream in which I as Deborah am laying my hands on Mary Magdalen who is laying her hands on me, blessing one another as goddesses unto eternity and then all energies merge into one essence. I lay face down on the bed flattened by the sheer power of the dream with Yeshua comforting me, whispering, I am She, I am the goddess. I know the secret of manifestation. I am Joy. Like the hummingbird, tasting all the nectar in life. Turning onto my back, my hands clasped in prayer, I am surrounded by Archangels. Gavriel, I recognize as the one who escorted me as Mary into my womb to share the forgotten secrets of womanhood. Then Michael speaks from my right, reminding me that I also have been escorted by Uriel, on my left, from the darkness back to the Light of the One. Then I feel Rafael behind me fueling my spirit, challenging me to reveal myself to the world. Yeshua returns with the Divine parents. The Father speaks- I am beloved, he has never forsaken me, I will remember all but at this moment I am to live in the eternal now blending past and present into a glorious future. I can see the glory of my relationship with Steve as my beloved husband, and my daughter Kyra with her joyful goddess energy as a reflection of my own, and Jarys, my son coming into the world manifesting a blend of masculine and feminine energies as an experiment to know himself as divine. All my worries are lifted.  I am asked to open my heart and to open my arms and invite in abundance. I am reassured that I will be and have been protected and held in the bosom of the One. I breathe in Yeshua as the son/lover/friend, then the Divine parents, who become all of my fathers, all of my mothers and I am whole.  

Sept 28th, 2003 Steve verbalizes my fears wondering if this experience is just an involved fantasy. Perhaps, but I believe all my reality including this one is a product of my imagination. Never before have I had a past life memory, although apparently I am open to the possibility. What I have read of past life regressions seem different from what I am experiencing. Perhaps it is like mitosis. The mother cell divides into two daughter cells, each containing all the molecular memory of the mother. Each daughter cell divides again and again unto infinity, but over time the original memory is transmuted. Perhaps I hale from one of the first divisions. Perhaps this is why there is so much detail in the memory, even in Aramaic. Only my judgment born from domestication into being human this time around threatens to taint the memory of before. Steve became frustrated with me when I hesitated to enter the Vatican, addressing Yeshua for the first time, “Come on, you two, we’re going in there!” I had such a feeling of oppression, great sadness, so much so that a guard took one look at my face and guided me to an open window for fresh air, before I could go into the Sistine Chapel.  Steve feels awed in history, that time is not a line but a spiral, circling back and forth but this time in Italy, layers of history are being peeled back to reveal my truth.We are trained, domesticated into a belief system based on myth. Like the myth of disease, of death, of suffering, of judgement, of victimization. All these negative energies I see portrayed in later religious art. The art depicting gods and goddesses seems mostly a celebration of life—food, wine, birth, spring, the elements and especially women. Pagan symbols exist in the frescoes and sculptures before the misinterpretation and patriarchal judgement passed on by the dominating forces. More comes in clearly through the emotion I experience as I explore the museums. The medieval buildings themselves are enough to inspire a passionate awakening. The art pulls at my heart strings. The depiction of Christ seems an imagined mythical being. They got it wrong, yet who am I to enlighten them?  

Awakening from earth amnesia, I remember being the goddess, identifying with the daughter energies. As the mother held the energy of the earth—the body and the father the energy of the sun—the soul, the son holds the energy of divine intelligence—the mind. Humans first worshipped the Divine Mother before looking into the cosmos and venerating the Divine Father. For over two millennia, humans have matured in consciousness through the mental stimulation of beloved avatars embodying the energy of the Divine Son. The time is ripe for the Divine Daughter. Infused in relationship with all—people, animals, plants, spirits, angels, gods, she is passionate emotion here to reweave the body mind and soul into Sacred Unity.

Mary Magdalen’s Day of Atonement

 

 

It’s coming. Soon, very soon. Fifty days from today, the world will receive the gift of Mary Magdalen. And in our remembrance of her, Mary Magdalen will bless us with compassion for finally receiving her truth.

Since writing in Mary’s perspective, my womb is Jewish, bleeding on this Day of Atonement—Yom Kippur. In Mary Magdalen’s time, blood sacrifices were common. Hebrew people made pilgrimage to the Holy Temple bringing unblemished birds and beasts as an offering to the priests—the Kohanim. And in exchange for the life of the animal, atonement was granted for mistakes—hatta’th—made in that year. For the Hebrew year of grace begins in the fall.

So 2000 years ago, how did Mary celebrate Yom Kippur?  A journey to the Holy Temple in the heart of the Judaean desert from the basalt hills of Galilee. Her family would stay in her grandmother’s beautiful home in Bethany just east of Jerusalem. Although the world knows her as Mary Magdalen, her wealthy family had many homes—in Magdala, Cana, Tyre, Bethany. The poorer Hebrew families camped within the northern walls of the great fortress city of Jerusalem, while the rich sought shelter in the homes of relatives.

Not all Hebrews could make the sacred pilgrimage, especially if they traveled to the Holy Temple for Pesach in the spring. Most could not afford more than a couple of pilgrimages in their lifetimes. To leave crops and livestock, crafts and homes under the care of another was difficult. So most Hebrews spent this Day of Atonement in quiet meditation. Perhaps they asked forgiveness of their neighbors or prayed for their enemies.

The trip was long from Galilee to Jerusalem and longer in return, so Mary’s family would miss the harvest festival of Sucot. The tribes still paid tribute to the goddess with lavish fertility festivals, blessing the next year’s harvest. Mary’s Tzadokim mother would not have her daughters participate in the ancient tradition. But after her marriage to Yeshua, nothing stops Mary from awakening to her sacred feminine truth.

From ancient Sumerian times, the years were counted from harvest to harvest.   Tomorrow on the Autumn Equinox begins a new year of birth. The Great Mother labors to bear her most precious creation. Fifty days of breath, of hope, of tears…and the Divine Daughter will be delivered into our consciousness—on November 11th 2007.

Open your heart to receive her…in LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter.