When I was sixteen, I wrote a letter to God. In the midst of my anorexia, feeling abandoned by spirit, I told God in no uncertain terms that in spite of my mission on earth if my beloved did not show up soon, I would not make it.

Soon after I met my soul mate in a dream…long golden curls, sky blue eyes, the body of Adonis…I awoke with hope and wonder. Where was he?

Suddenly my parents decided that my high school was too far away (I rode the bus over an hour and half to get there everyday) and the growing tension between the white and black kids was not the best environment for my younger sisters (although I had been going to this interracial school for two and half years and learned to make friends with the leaders of the black girls who looked out for me). So in the spring of my junior year I left all my friends and transferred to the high school closest to my parents’ business.

And on the first morning of track practice, we were told to partner with another athlete to stretch. All the other kids quickly found a partner. I turned to my left and there He was. Sky blue eyes, long golden curls, body of Adonis with a very Greek name to match—Stefanos Darius Maragopoulos—but everyone called him Steve.

The first time I looked into his eyes, I knew.

My soul mate. The one I dreamt. The one I asked God to send.

We were only kids! What was God thinking?

It took awhile to settle into the gift. We don’t always receive gifts right away. We question our worth. We wonder how it’s possibly going to work out. We thank the Divine and question It at the same time. At least I did.

Steve and I took our time getting reacquainted with one another. He was very patient for a sixteen year old. We talked about everything. We are both first born. He had two brothers. I had three sisters. His family was very poor. Mine was middle class. He was being raised by a single mother…divorced twice from abusive relationships. His father was somewhere in Greece. Although it seemed that I had raised myself, my parents were still together. My family loved him.

The summer before my senior year in high school, my grandparents came from Philadelphia. The first time they met Steve, Poppop kissed him. My grandparents were very Italian and men kissed each other. All my sisters’ boyfriends were put off by this custom. Not Steve.

A good Greek boy, Steve welcomed Pop’s kiss. Una raza, una faza. One race, one face. When Steve returned the embrace, Pop took me aside and said, “You better keep this one, Poppy.” I did.

Recently our firstborn asked how to know if the person you’re attracted to is The One. I told him it came down to the first feeling you have when you meet. Jarys asked what I felt when I met his Dad. I remember so clearly. I felt Safe.

Safe to unveil my heart and be my truth. Since that fateful ice cream cone. I had used my anorexia to hide Me. There was no hiding with Steve. I revealed everything. Even the ugly parts. And he accepted all of me. He loved me unconditionally. I had never known love like his.

Steve said that the feeling he had when he first met me was…Home. He felt that he had come home. He still feels the same and so do I.

And when I look into his sky blue eyes, I see myself as Love.

All we have been through over the past 38 years…the deaths, the divorces, the difficult decisions, the challenging careers, the tremendous soul growth that often feels like we have lived many lives in one…all has been transformed into joy. I counsel a lot of people and as a police officer and a coach, so does Steve.

We are eternally grateful for being together this long and still so very much in love. We are best friends, still passionately attracted to each other, great partners in creating our amazing life. I used to see myself as ahead of him on our spiritual path…yet no more, for clearly we are in tandem…taking turns leading when the other needs a rest. And family, friends, and strangers come to us for advice on relationships. And all I can say is how we got here is by choosing Love.


Excerpt from My LoveDance. Available on Amazon


The Father and I are One

Since the beginning of the year, the 11th of each month has felt…well, different. After the Japanese earthquake, I was sure I wasn’t the only one feeling the 11th. So I googled it and found the 11th of each month described as vibrational portals leading to 11-11-11. On 4-11-11, I felt compelled to hold ceremony so I called up Grandmother Kathy and took her to the beach. In sacred ceremony we gifted the ocean with the intention of healing the earth. I felt this intense energy coming from the sun…no actually through the sun and recognized the galactic center blessing us. On the wet low tide sands, I danced the sacred union of Father Sun and Mother Earth…what an amazing experience!

Lately, I keep seeing multiples of 11 every time I look at the clock (11, 22, 33, 44). I looked up the significance of these master numbers and calculated my numerology number by birth date and it is 22…but still this doesn’t settle my soul…something more is up.

On Monday, in spite of having accomplished everything I need before our vacation commenced, I awoke with a vague melancholy. Then I realized the date…7-11-11…and felt compelled to hold ceremony again…but what? Trusting all would be well I opened my journal in hopes of inspiration and…. it came to me…

…These portals are DNA activations! In alignment with the chakra’s…the first three were not as noticeable to me (I can only guess that these layers are well activated by Genesis Gold), the fourth felt like a celebration of the heart chakra…Love… the fifth and sixth were subtle, yet this seventh was in alignment with work I’ve been doing regarding the Pineal gland. And I have always known the crown chakra to be a connection to the heavens, the multi-dimensional universe. Perhaps why we bow our head in prayer, exposing our crowns to the mouth of God.

At the same time, healing the split with the Divine Masculine has come up in my women’s circle. I began this work exactly a year ago, composing and publishing two articles regarding the Divine Masculine before I was hit with Death…there my focus lie for months through the Karmic Imprint retreat and well after as I released all that no longer served my soul.

I have taken steps to heal my relationship with my own father and while it’s going well, still the Divine Masculine is up again…wanting to be healed in my soul, in the collective feminine, in the world…

I spent my early days as the divine child…androgynous in my being…then embodied the divine son energy using my mind to make my mark in the world, emerging ever so cautiously as the divine daughter…first as lover, then wife, then mother, then peace, oh blessed peace with my sacred femininity as I consumed the bounty of the Earth Mother in Genesis Gold. Then I wrote my experience in LoveDance…the Divine Daughter well rooted in me…that was 8 years ago…over the past year and a half, struggling to compose book two of the LoveDance series, I have been excavating the father wound…naming it, writing it, praying about it, then acting upon it. Knowing that this year, 2011—the year I celebrate my 50th birthday—the time is finally ripe to become whole.

During a guided meditation in my women’s circle, I saw an image of my higher self. And felt compelled to create Her into form. I took my joy to my Q&A journal where I converse with my higher self and she assured me that my hands would “remember” how to form clay. And they did…


This sculpture that I created under the midwifery of Grandmother Kathy—I call Her, Ascencion—is my Higher Self formed from clay. Not only feminine, but in sacred union with the masculine. That is who I am now. She is who I’ve become in my 50 years on earth. Finally balanced.

When it was time to bring Her home after months of work, I was feeling trepidation. Excitement, yet trepidation too. Then I was cast back to 1984, driving to UCLA to pick up Jarys from the NICU…my life forever changed then…and now it would be changed again.

Since bringing Ascencion home, my life has changed. My relationship has deepened even more with my beloved husband. My relationship with my mother has become more refined. I have truly released my son and he is blossoming. My daughter grows in leaps and bounds and no longer am I entangled with her. My relationship with my sisters is blooming…no drama at the last family gathering. And being with my father was joyous….Thank God!

After witnessing the heartfelt struggle with patriarchy from the women in my circle, I took my heavy heart to my beloved husband who shone some divine masculine light of wisdom upon me. Then I sat in counsel with my higher self, consulted with wise women and wondered when this Father Wound would be finally healed. For Blossoming Spirit—the theme of our upcoming retreat—to emerge at the fall equinox, balance must be reached.

Before we met for our first planning meeting, crow left me a feather…I was bringer of the Triple Goddess Tarot Cards from which our women’s circle would choose. I had tied the triple goddess colors of white, red, and black around the crow feather and the eldest “crone” of our circle used the feather to divine the card. Blossoming Spirit was chosen—card number 5, the hierophant—with a strong rejuvenation theme. Just what I dreamt for our next retreat.

For three weeks, I asked crow for another feather having given up the beautiful one to the circle. And only after I abandoned the search and went on a carefree run with Charlie in the meadow to find a black and white feather…balance…only then did crow grace me with a pure black feather under the orange tree—where I pick sunshine to consume every morning before greeting my animals and old man crow!

So on 7-11-11 at 11:11 dressed in violets, I lay under my oak tree to meditate.

And for the first time since I was a child, I felt the presence of Father God. He spoke to me. Explaining that it took this long for me to bond well with the Divine Mother, to discover my truth and transform from human doing to human being…to live as the embodiment of the Divine Daughter and encompass Divine Mother energy into my life with deep honoring of the Divine Grandmother.

He showed me how easily I partnered with the Divine Masculine in Steve and received it in other men. How bravely I tried to heal my relationship with my father …yet still I searched for guidance from the Divine Father.

In answer to my heart prayers of healing the father wound, He came.

And showed me, me as light! A juicy brilliant orange-red began the light show and I felt filled from root to belly…hormonally rejuvenated. Then lime green darkening to peridot as the light rose from solar plexus to heart. The greens deepened to a glorious teal, fluid and dancing with lovely lilac in the center…my heart filled. Then my throat alighted in clear blue, brilliant as the sky and here where I hold trepidation, finally healed by the blue light of truth. Then my head filled with violet, not purple of my youth, but a deep violet that circled around to red and became fuchsia. My new auric color! He showed me that I’ve come full circle and begin again at 50.

The communication was long and deep. For I saw my own DNA dancing. Not the double helix formation but a spiraling spherical star of DNA, many layers deep, no, not layers, He said, not stacked but intertwined, and I looked deeper and saw brilliant strands dancing figure eights of infinity, meeting in the center of the star sphere, some switching partners, some dancing in triplets…Seven lit up brilliantly…four more dancing in the shadows, and the last yet to be enlightened.

All the while Father God spoke to me. He explained how he watched over me all this time through the eyes of crow. My deep connection to this magical black bird that so many fear…it was serving My Father. The one I turned away from so long ago.

No judgment, no sorrow during this glorious reunion with My Father. Only light and love. Exactly what I ask for every time I feel fear. That my fear be lifted and I be filled with light and love. And now I know it has been Him…answering my prayers.

Oh, I am still very much one with My Mother. She flows through me….and I felt Her great Joy as I received Him. She held me in her arms as She presented me, Her Divine Daughter, to My Father. I am so blessed.

I arose at 11:55, 44 minutes in divine communication. I am profoundly affected…the light was so healing…I know now what Yeshua meant by My Father and I are One.