I spent the first half of my adult life being the scientist, experiencing the masculine aspect of self, until I opened to receive the sacred feminine. Since then the universe has sent me maternal mentors—until I fully received my own power to manifest beauty and love in my life. Some of my mentors left all they knew—family, home, husbands, children, society—to delve into the old paradigm of abstinence. Separate from all to find oneness. They even encouraged me to leave, but I resisted, finding solace at home, in the arms of my husband, in the laughter of my children, in the life I created. Why can’t I have it all—spiritual enlightenment, inter-dimensional connection, and a fully human life complete with good food, good wine, good music, good sex, good tears? Is not this amazing body that my soul inhabits the vehicle for my transformation? Is not all creation perfect in its perpetual transmutation to come unto Sacred Union?
I remember when on…
Nov 5th, 2003 A healing occurs as I release the need to venerate mentors, looking outside of self for the truth, when the guru exists within. My first spiritual mentor and probably not my last, initiated this awakening by telling me to plug in! After years of being impressed with the energetic connections when we were together, the amount of information coming in whenever we spoke, she got tired of our human existence being interrupted. We couldn’t even go to lunch without the guides coming in to deliver messages! She moved away as they all have. Besotted with love for all, I wish not to be an unclear portal, so continually release my fear. As I share the details of the story with Mom, she worries about Steve in this triangular relationship and how it is playing out now. There is much healing going on for all of us.
How I struggled with gurus who set themselves apart as the only one to know a certain concept. Yes, I placed them on a pedestal as I sat at their feet absorbing what they had to teach me. And with my audacious confidence I would apply what I had learned as soon as possible. If they could see it, feel it, be it…so could I. And if I could, then so could my friends, family, patients. I believe what we see in others is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. As soon as I realized I was venerating another, usually way after those around me provided ample warning, I would cut the guru down…release her from the throne in my mind and set her free. Then another would take her place.