My LoveDance® feels complete…but oh, not yet. It is time to go deeper…time to open the past. I must admit that when I did open my mother’s cedar chest, the ghosts of Deborah past knocked me back on my butt. My left sciatic ached for days…birthing pains…time to go back to the beginning. To face the old me. I do not like the way I wrote then…hiding my truth behind too many words…but I shall include some of it…just to see how far I’ve come on my journey.
20. HOT TUB ADVICE
I’m in the Jacuzzi with Steve enjoying our morning coffee. In the oak sprawled above us, squirrels chatter at crows taking refuge from a pair of bossy jays. This land of ours is teaming with life. Only an acre yet separated into garden rooms so that it feels like three. My mare watches us as the goat rubs against the new gate. The dog pokes his head over the edge of the tub. Steve gives him an affectionate pat. “You know you should start at the end.”
“What?” Overhead, a golden hawk cries—messenger of the divine. I listen closely to my beloved.
“Well, I like books that start at the end then go back to how they got there.”
“I think that’s what is being asked of me…how did I get here?”
He smiles, “I meant for LoveDance®.”
I give him a kiss, “Yes, but this is My LoveDance®.”
He sighs, “You’re going to tell it all, aren’t you?”
Yes. Yes I am.